In the Meantime...

Updates

2010-11-25T19:26:00.002-05:00

Greetings,

It appears that folks actually do follow my blog! Wow!! I have not been able to update as much as I would have liked this semester. It has been a rough one and I am looking forward to it ending in a few weeks. I have definitely learned quite a bit this semester and, perhaps, one day I will be able to make the time to really give an update. For now, I want to share some nuggets from sermons in Chapel over the course of the semester. Yes, there does exist folks who actually take notes during sermons in hopes the nuggets will take root and make a difference in my life!

10/2/10 - "Sacrament of Beginning Again" - Matthew 19:16-22 (Rich young ruler)
Nugget gleamed: At the very moment when life is set (comfortable), we are asked to begin again. The rich young ruler had his life set out before him and with one question, Jesus "rocked" his world

10/23/10 - "Martha Tendencies and Mary Moments" - Luke 10:38-42
1) We assume that Martha is "serving" food because she is a woman but the text doesn't say anything about serving anything.
2) "Service" + "Reverence" = "Conflict": Meaning: When we doing for Jesus, we have to find a way to "sit" with Jesus as well and that combo can cause conflict
3) We don't need to sacrifice our relationship with Jesus in order to get the ministry done
4) What would it look like if we believed that God who called us will sustain us!

11/6/10 - "His Grace is Sufficient" - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
1) Because of what we go through, we get a deeper understanding of God's grace
2) Every trail that comes into our life, we can still see the glory of God. In the midst of the struggle is when you see God's glory.

11/13/10 - "How Do We Get to the Other Side?" - Matthew 14:22-33
How do we learn to trust God?:
1) Recognize God has chosen you
2) Taking risks and doing what you've never done
3) Stay focused on getting to the other side

11/20/10 - "He Knows" - Jeremiah 1: 4-10
1) God knows you and still calls you
2) If God calls you, God will keep you

So...there you have it!

Until next time...

Confirmation

2010-10-23T18:19:00.002-04:00

So today it was confirmed: I attend a Historically Black, Conservative and Homophobic institution! Did I know this before? Of course I did. Did it bother me? Nope...I know this is where God wants me to be. Was I surprised by this confirmation? Unfortunately no!

There I am, sitting in a preaching class discussing possible topics to do as a case study. Whatever topic our group worked on would involve changing the behavior of the people in the congregation through sermons, bible study, Sunday school, etc. You get the idea. Anyway, folks were throwing out topic ideas and we came up with a list of eight. All very good but it had to be narrowed down to four.

This is how it went down. I will start at the end. The four topics chosen were: 1) Domestic violence; 2) Drug and alcohol abuse among teens; 3) Bullying and 4) preaching prosperity gospel in a down economy. All good, right? The lowest vote getters were: 1) Obesity in the African American community (remember I go to a HBCU); 2) cohabitation affect on marriage; 3) human trafficking in NC (Yes, it does exist. I did a paper for Christian ethics on it and spoke to a director of a facility in NC) and ....drum roll PLEASE - 4) the eradication of HIV within the African American Community!!!!

I was stunned! Only two people, another person and I, thought it was important to the Black church community at a Black Baptist Church institution to talk about the fact that HIV is killing many of our Black sisters who happen to go to Black churches!!!

I sat there in amazement! As the class talked about what they had learned today, this is what I heard: "We like to be fat (knocked out obesity topic), happy (cohabitation topic) and have sex (HIV topic)!!! What did I learn besides the lesson I stated earlier? Come hell or high water, I need to get outta here!

Until Next Time...

Chapel

2010-09-18T23:10:00.002-04:00

Today we had the honor of listening to an Air Force Chaplin. At the beginning of each semester, we have a military Chaplin come and preach and recruit M.Div. students. Happy to say there were a few that spoke to him afterwards.

As usual, I wanted to share his topic and insights from today's message.

His topic was "The Simplicity of Christ" and his text - 2 Cor. 11:3 with a focus on Eve. He went back to Genesis 3:1-6 in order to tie the two passages together. In doing so, he discovered some very interesting things:

1) Eve was seduced by Appearance - the tree was pleasant to look at as was the fruit of the tree of Good and Evil; she got caught up in the appearance of the fruit and ate it and changed the course of history forever; he spoke on the idea that we often get caught up in how things look and because of that we can be seduced by outer appearance; however, appearance is relative

2) Eve was also seduced by Importance - Eve tried to find a shortcut to obtaining wisdom; obtaining wisdom takes time; it wasn't enough for Eve to walk and talk with God, she wanted to be like God as well; in our churches and lives we can get caught up on titles and such; we think that looking and staying busy makes us look important; again, it is the seduction/temptation of it all

Finally...

3) Simplify, Simplify - our nature is to complicate things; as humans we have a tendency to complicate things but the Gospel is simple; "I am forgiven" - simple, "Jesus loves me" - simple

Very good Word for today!

Until next time...

Enlightened Moments

2010-09-15T21:27:00.002-04:00

Well, as promised, here is a snapshot of the things I have read about over the last few weeks or so. I am still being blown away with the things I have been reading. I actually had to cut my time at the library short one day since my head was spinning with so much information. I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I am. Please know that I cannot and will not overwhelm readers with EVERYTHING that I have read. I will, however, share a few items of insight.

One of the things that has really struck me in my readings is how sacred the slaves treated the Bible. I started wondering about that: Do we, as African Americans, or people in general treat the Bible as sacred? Or is it just another book? I am studying African Americans and the Bible so much of my insights will be geared toward my community and culture. Feel free to travel on the journey of discovery with me.

The Bible was the ONE book that slaves wanted and desired, tremendously, to read. At one point they called it "The Talking Book" because they saw their masters moving their lips when they were reading the Bible, silently, and the slave preacher assumed the Bible was speaking to "their master". Upon picking up the same Bible, many would put it to their ear expecting it to speak to them. When it didn't, one slave felt "that everybody and everything despised me because I was black". (The Talking Book, Allen Callahan, p. 13)

Naturally, I was blown away. However, despite their feelings, slaves eventually were able to read the Bible and began to understand there was more in the scriptures other than the "slaves obey your master" passages. Many slaves, once freed and able to read, would steer clear of those passages from Paul - can't say I blame them on that - in order to get more out of the scriptures.

It was a book that, on one hand liberated them (Exodus story) and on the other, kept them in bondage (Paul's passages on slavery). In so doing, I am deeply humbled at the strength and tenacity many slaves showed in order to learn to read. Slave preachers were willing to risk being beat in order to learn to read so they could preach to the slaves as opposed to the slaves having to listen to the white preachers. Most of the time, the white preachers spoke about the slave passages from the New Testament and thus used the Bible to keep the slaves "in line" (sound familiar?)

Please hear me when I say, that I do not advocate the way many slaves came into Christianity - forced by their masters. Many maintained the religion they brought over with them from Africa. I am just taken aback at the injustice of it all. Even in our world today, we still hold folks in bondage over the Holy Scriptures and blame God for saying and doing things that GOD DID NOT SAY or DO!!!

I wanted to share just a taste of the feast that I am eating this semester. I have to take it in little bites and as I do, I will share whats on the table with you!

I want to end this with a quote from one of my books for you to think about: "Evangelicalism would make the Bible the most accessible literature in America. African-American Evangelicals would make it the most dangerous". (The Talking Book, Allen Callahan, p. 6)

Until Next Time...

Chapel On Saturday

2010-09-11T19:22:00.003-04:00

Well, today we were blessed with a wonderful preacher in Chapel. With it being 9/11, a retired NYPD official was also there to remind us of the event of 9 years ago. He reminded us how blessed we are to be alive physically as well as in Christ.

As always, I want to share the nuggets of the Word from the preacher today. By the way, I haven't forgotten the promise of the blog piece on the African American religion/studies class. I am trying to figure out how to get all of the things I am learning in a concise and short blog. So...stay tuned. In the meantime, here are the nuggets for today.

Her subject was "Confidence in the Power" and her text Romans 1:14-16 where Paul is speaking about not being ashamed of the gospel. She reminded us that on this day, 9/11, that we, as Christians are obligated to get the gospel beyond the walls. Why?

1) We are debtors. Paul speaks to this in verse 14 about the fact he owes somebody something. As Christians, we owe an obligation to Jesus to share the gospel. As long as there is at least one person who hasn't heard the gospel, we are still debtors.

Therefore, we have to be willing to share the gospel with those outside of what we look like, outside of our denominations and outside of our comfort zone.

2) We have to be enthusiastic about sharing the gospel. As Christians, we are to be the happiest people in the world and be willing to share the gospel with others. We are to be happy about fulfilling our obligation as being debtors that share the gospel of Jesus Christ!

and finally, (Yes, good Baptist with 3 points!)

3) As Paul says in verse 16, we are NOT TO BE ASHAMED of the gospel. We are to be willing vessels of God to share the gospel wherever and whenever we have the chance. We have the Power of God behind us!

It was definitely a word that I could use! Thanks, Preacher Woman, for your words of challenge today!

Until next time...

Something to Think About

2010-09-01T16:51:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday was our first chapel service at school. The interim dean spoke on the subject - "It's Bigger Than You!!" with the text being: Genesis 15:1-6. It was a very powerful story that provided several nuggets of wisdom. I figured that they were nuggets to pass on to others.

1) No matter what is going on, it is still a JOY to know God!

2) We forget, in the midst of our challenges, that God ALWAYS has a plan for us!

3) Sometimes, you have to leave the situation in order to get clarity. Abraham was called outside by God in order to get clarity on his situation.

4) Three pieces of Advice - 1- Look Up! When you look up you can't see the mountain of bills, the challenges at work, the struggles of life! 2 - "Count the stars" translates for us - "Count your blessings" and 3- Revelation - The same God who blessed you last week is the same God who can bless you this week and next week and forever more!!!!

5) What God was doing for Abraham was bigger than him!

Main Point of the Sermon: Whatever God is you to do, remember, it is BIGGER THAN YOU!!!!! This is why we need God to sustain us and carry us through!

Until Next Time...

Black Theology

2010-08-25T22:43:00.002-04:00

As promised, a new post from my blog.

Black Theology class was last night and we are beginning with the book "Black Church Studies: An Introduction" by Stacey Floyd-Thomas. Thus far, the book has been very interesting. It has filled in holes for me that I have often wondered about.

Let me highlight a few of those moments of enlightenment:
1) I knew that the Black Church grew out of slavery and the "invisible institution" later called the Black Church. What I didn't know was the fact that many of the Blacks who were either freed or free Blacks BEFORE the Civil War chose to become members of the Congregational, Episcopal and Presbyterian church because of the formal style of worship.

As I thought about this, I wonder if it was also due to slavery. What I mean is the fact that the "invisible" church the slaves had in the woods was high in emotion. By joining congregations that were not high in emotionalism it helped the "free" blacks to disassociate, to some degree, with slaves or forget where they came from.

I know this is a very broad statement and I by no means am lumping all Blacks in this category. I just found it interesting because the writers go on to say that these congregations were also prosperous. In our society today, many folks see Blacks in these congregations as void of emotions when it comes to worshipping God and of some financial means. Perhaps, and I am just saying, they choose to worship God in a different way that is just as powerful as congregations that choose to worship in a very emotional way.

2) The other thing is the fact the writers make no apologies for writing this book from the African American perspective. For too long much of our history has been written through the eyes of white people and have been void of truth in connection to African Americans or not complete.

For instance, I did not know there were times the Dr. King actually separated himself from Bayard Rustin - African American homosexual who was instrumental in the March on Washington in 1963. Reason being - political and Rustin accepted that. I, for one, had never heard that piece of the story.

As I closed out Black Theology for tonight, my next reading is about studying the presence of African Americans in the Bible and how things would change if we looked at the bible from this perspective. How would the culture change? How would history be written differently? How would the very study of African Americans in America be altered? I can't wait to finish this chapter. More on that later.

Until Next Time...

School

2010-08-21T19:18:00.002-04:00

Today was the last face-to-face class for the week. I have five in all with 4 on campus! I must say that this semester will be VERY interesting!!! Black Theology, Comparative Religion, Field Ministry, Preaching 3 and African Biblical Studies, it will INDEED be a semester!

Black Theology will be teaching me about Howard Thurman and Martin Luther King, Jr. in connection to the Beloved Community!

Comparative Religion will teach me about Hinduism Buddhism, Islam and Christianity in a structured environment!

Field Ministry will allow me, hopefully, to work with the AIDS community!

Preaching 3 will give me more tools to be a better preacher and

African Biblical Studies will help to open my eyes to where I exist in the scriptures!

I can say that this semester will prove to be the most insightful and educational in a wholeness kind of way. I am really excited though apprehensive about the course load and all the reading!

One thing I have learned while on the journey is that God will NEVER give you more than you can bear at any point and time!! I am continually reminded of the fact that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be and at times, it is overwhelming!

I sit in awe at times in class because of the blessing I have been given to attend a theological institution. It is my desire that when I leave (even though I have NO IDEA what I will do next), I will be able to offer to people of faith more than I did 5 years ago!

Isn't that what we all desire? To be better now than we were in the past because NOW we know better!!!

Until Next Time...

Just Cross Over to the Other Side of the Street

2010-08-16T18:05:00.002-04:00

On Sunday, I had the honor of hearing two wonderful sermons on "What has Jesus Done for Me?" What really got me was the way they worked the sermon as a tag team using their own personalities and it was great!

Basic thought: Why did Jesus cross the road? Jesus crossed the road to save me and others and because of that, I have to be willing to cross the road to reach out to people. Jesus crossed the road to reach the least, the lost and the last! He crossed the road for those that look like that "got it going on" but may be "poor in spirit" on the inside. He crossed the road to help all of us live a "blessed life" and not just in the material way.

They challenged us to look at all the "stuff" that many of us have that go unused because we are trying to keep up with the "Joneses". You have 2 cars and can only drive one at a time. You have a 4 bedroom house and live alone. We have all kinds of "stuff" that go untouched for years but we keep it because it is our "stuff".

Truth telling: Due to certain circumstances, most of our stuff has been in storage for over a year now and truth be told, we haven't missed much of it. It is amazing that you think you need "stuff" and then when it is gone and there is no where to put it, you really learn to do without. Why? God will ALWAYS supply you your needs! I can honestly say that we have not gone lacking throughout the year that most of our "stuff" has been in storage.

I am reminded of Matthew 6:33 -When you do seek and put God first, all other things will fall into place. Don't get me wrong, it is and has been a challenging year but God has a way of giving you a different perspective on things! As for me, I am always interested in seeing what the next chapter will look like on my journey.

Given the conviction of the sermon, I guess there will be a HUGE YARDSALE when the weather breaks!!!

Until next time...

First Day

2010-08-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

Well, today was the first day of the beginning of the new school year! What a day! We have had some changes in administration at the Divinity School and so today, instead of the usual orientation for students (held yesterday) there was a writing workshop offered. The day began with a devotional.

You want to guess what the scripture text was for today? Jeremiah 29:11! Yes, the very scripture that (Bishop) Terri Steed reminded me of when I wrote my blog last week! What a way to begin the new year! I often wonder if I am in the right place and moving in the right direction. As I sat there listening to the scripture being read, I had to smile to myself and it felt good to know that all was right with the world and that God was truly with me! Thanks, everyone, for the words of encouragement and blessings last week!

As the Dean spoke, he reminded me through the scripture that God was REMINDING me that God knows the plans for me and as such I can rest in that knowledge! I can trust the process! I can enjoy a Sabbath Rest! I can have peace!

Yes, the not knowing of what the journey will be will be challenging at times. The good news is I know now that I can trust the process and EVERYTHING will be ALRIGHT!!!!

Thanks, Rev. Steed for being the vessel of God!!!

Until next time...

Back to School

2010-08-07T16:14:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

Well, it has been a LONG and a somewhat uneventful summer off from school which starts back up next week. Going into my final year of my Masters in Divinity and apprehensive about it. Look for a more regular time of blogging once school begins again!

As of now, I have NO IDEA what my path will look like upon graduation! I really hope and pray that God shows me something by the time the year is over. I guess I have to be okay with the "not knowing" part of the journey! Oh the life of followers of Christ!

Until Next Time...

A Very Wonderful Sight to See!

2010-07-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

Today I saw something that I, at least, don’t often see. I was sitting in a location working on a paper that afforded me the opportunity to see out and not be seen (reflective windows). As I was sitting there, a SUV drove up and a young, African American man got out and went around to the side of the car to the passenger back door. I must admit (shamelessly) in that moment I expected him to get a car seat of something of that nature out of the car and a young woman to exit the front passenger door.

I was pleasantly surprised to see him take a walker out of the car and then opened the front passenger door and an elderly man got out. Not sure if it was his father or not. However, in that moment, just from appearances, I realized what I have said often – there are some good Black men still around.

He proceeded to walk very slowly beside the man with the walker and did not appear to be impatient. They walked to the Dollar Tree, back pass me to another location and finally back to the car where the young man assisted the older gentleman in getting back in the SUV.

At no time, did he appear rushed or inconvenience. It was just a young man doing what I believe ALL young people are to do…taking care of those who are our elders.

I don’t know who the young African American man was, but today I can say - I am proud to be called his sister!

Interesting Thought

2010-05-21T21:58:00.002-04:00

Okay...so work was a bit crazy today! I work in the printing industry and today we had 3 power outrages which meant no printing for about 3-4 hours of the day. Eventually, the technician shows up and gets the printers back online. Yeah!

In the midst of work this week, my mind has been on the death of my uncle, my dad's last sibling. One of the traits that my uncle always had was that of wearing a fedora. Every since I was a kid, I remember him with a fedora on his head and it seemingly was a family trait. My dad always wore one as well. In looking at pictures that my cousin had of her dad, my uncle, I noticed that the siblings that were prematurely growing bald were the ones that wore a hat. This included at 3 uncles and my dad.

As I reflected on the death of my uncle, who turned 90 on May 6th, I thought of the fact that it is usually at funerals when the impromptu family reunions happen. You know how it is. Folks you haven't seen in years come up to you and hug you and say things like "I haven't seen you since you were little!" or "You sure have grown up!", you get the idea! Most of the folks, I can't remember their names BUT, as usual, I can see the family resemblance and that is enough.

So on Saturday, I will be attending my uncle's funeral and see people I haven't seen since my dad died in 1998 and I will smile and they will smile and I will say things like, "Yes, I am ___________ Floyd's daughter" and we will hug, cry and say our goodbyes until the next time.

My wish...hopefully next time will be a family reunion and not a family funeral.

Oh well, until next time...

Mondays

2010-04-19T23:30:00.002-04:00

Okay, so, it has been quite some time since I last posted and quite a few things have happened since September 2009. Still trying to figure out an angle or two as to what to, specifically, write about on a regular basis. So, I thought about writing on Mondays each week to go over my day and/or anything exciting that occurred today.

I really don't know what will transpire as I attempt to get back into this. It almost seems vain to write about myself for the whole world to read about. However, it seems that we are a society of voyeurs.

Today was an okay day. All day I was listless at work and couldn't really get a handle on things. I am also dealing with allergies for the first time in my life. I am over 40 and it seems weird that only now, I am dealing with this. I have moved up a position at my job and it is more demanding and more stressful than ever before. The odd thing is that it is okay. I have yet to get really stressed out - not that I want it to occur. Apparently, I strive on pressure which apparently explains my lateness in beginning to write papers. I seem to think more clearly at the last minute than further out.

One thing I have noticed is that since taking a preaching class at work, I am more conscious of my sermon time and prep time. I always spent time working on my sermons but I now understand, even more, the importance of really looking at what was happening at the time of the passage and how it really relates to us today. I always did that in my preaching but now I know I need to do more. This was one of the things that was on the list of reasons why I stepped down from the pulpit.

I realized I had done all I could with what I knew and it was time to step down and allow someone else with more skills to come in and move the church to the next level. In the meantime, I am learning quite a bit about church and ministry while in Divinity School which is a wonderful thing.

WOW!!! I guess I had something to write about after all!

Until next time...

Initial Sermon

2009-09-14T19:51:00.006-04:00

On Sunday, I had the honor to attend the initial sermon of a classmate of mine from Divinity School. As a Baptist, he is to go through this initial sermon time and become licensed and then, I believe, ordained after a set amount of time. I haven't been "truly" Baptist in quite some time, so I am unsure of the correct procedure.

Overall, it was a very wonderful experience. He chose the songs and the passage and basically shared why he felt called into the ministry. I think all us "clergy" types should do at some point, if we haven't already. It would help keep us humble and remind us that we didn't get here on our own. His wife was there along with other family members. His church members from the church he attended while living in Savannah, GA rented a bus and drove up just for the occasion. It was truly a wonderful time in church!

It caused to me think back to my "initial" sermon. There wasn't much pomp and circumstance surrounding it. However, there WERE some circumstances. I was asked to speak for the first time in my life on the occasion of Martin Luther King, Jr. Celebration Sunday. I was excited and apprehensive as to what to say. Since I had left the Baptist church, it never dawned on me to share my "call" but I can honestly say, I wasn't sure of my call at that time.

The weekend I was to do the message I was sexually assaulted in my apartment (no worries, man was caught and will be in jail for life). My pastor at the time told me that if I wanted to, I didn't have to do the sermon but I refused to not do it. To me, if I had said no, then I was a victim and I WAS NOT GOING TO BE A VICTIM. Needless to say, I did the message and folded my experience in by way of justice issues. I did that message in 1992 and I still have the message. Talk about a pack rat.

As I look back, I often wonder what would have happened if I had said "no" to doing the message. I don't dwell too much on it. I am glad I did because it started me down the road of ministry. Along the way, I hope I have helped to transform some lives. If no one else was, I was.

As for my friend, I wish him nothing but God's blessings as he begin a new journey in his life.

Until next time...

Question

2009-08-28T19:22:00.004-04:00

Greetings,

I have been doing a great deal of reflection lately and wanted to get some thoughts from others.

I challenge you to take the time to answer the question below:
"What if ___________________________ hadn't happened?"

What goes in the blank? A tragedy that occurred in your life that changed the course of your life. That if it had not happened, your life would have taken a different route than it did.

For me, I had a partner killed while we were out bicycling. We were both involved in the church and at the time of the accident, I was becoming more involved. She had expressed some issues around the fact that she had been attending longer than me and yet others were asking me to paricipant. At the time of her death, I was thinking of pulling back from the church and going to school in VA to become an occupational therapist.

As some of you, I eventually was ordained and credentialed. I often wonder what my path would have looked like if that moment in time had not occurred. I know that God has a unique plan for us all and perhaps I would have ended up in ministry eventually, but I do wonder.

I invite you to take some time to reflect and answer the question. For those on facebook, feel free to email me offline if the response is lenghty and/or painful. Please know that anything shared will be held in confidence. For regular readers of my blog, your posting is only seen my me.

Until Next Time...

Preaching Class

2009-08-22T20:21:00.003-04:00

Today was my first class on preaching. You would think that after doing sermons over 14 years that a class on preaching isn't necessary. As I sat there, I began to get excited and apprehensive about the class.

On one hand I was looking forward to being even more educated (I love learning) BUT on the other, I was thinking "I will have to unlearn and/or re-learn all that I have seen and heard while pastoring".

The professor is one that is sympathetic to the needs of working students but he was VERY clear about not trying to get over on him. I find it interesting how many of use will avoid or not take a class due to what others have told us. Many are afraid of this professor. What I realized today is that he isn't hard just thorough and wants us to learn things in a systematic way. Is that a bad thing? I think not.

Stay tuned for more blogs as I get into my readings. I am sure I will be moved by something that will find its way onto my blog.

Until next time...

Christian Ethics Class

2009-08-21T17:52:00.003-04:00

Greetings,

School is back in so look for more consistent blogging entries.

Last night was the first day of class for me. This semester I have 4 - two online and two face to face. Last night was Christian Ethics and something interesting came up that I had to process overnight and thought I would write about it today.

We began with looking at the various sources of our moral and ethical environment and development. Sources of places included job, home, school, church and neighborhoods. In all of these places we learn about various values such as trust, betrayal, loyalty, team work, manipulation, sharing, love, self control, honesty, etc.

As the professor talked he said that, for this class, the intention is to look at a coherent moral system. Keep in mind I am at a conservative Divinity school that is one of the HBCU's in the country. So the moral system will be Christian in its foundation according to the books and discussion within the room. I know, and I hope others know, that all things are taken in context.

Anyway, the thing that stood out was this: How do we deal with our moral maturity? The professor proposed 3 ways: 1) We reject one belief and accept the other. For example, if we say that we are going to TRULY follow Christ then our lives are to reflect that walk -turn the other cheek, non-violent, etc. Of course, this brings up the issue of killing someone in self defense even if we preach/claim non-violence as one of our morals/values. 2) Divide up our lives = compartmentalize. This one really struck me as I see it all the time around me and I may be guilty as well. We act one way at work, another at home, and another with our friends. I try, for the most part, to be fairly consistent and many others will say the same. However, when I pastored, I was guilty of this as I am sure several pastors are no matter how much we try not to be and 3) No need for consistency - "nihilism" = "belief in no standards". You are going to do what you want to do PERIOD!

What a way to begin the class!!!! Can't wait until next week!

Until next time...

Wanderings?!

2009-08-11T20:11:00.003-04:00

Lately, I have been looking at status reports on FB. For those that read my blog elsewhere, yes, I do have a facebook page. Not sure where some of this is coming from but I have been wondering about some things....

I am glad that I have some sense of faith, it is not as strong as it has been in the past but I do have a little bit left. I sit and listen to preachers via cable access tv and my laptop via Streaming Faith and I have actually caught myself asking: Is it really true or it is a con? WOW!! Did a preacher/pastor/minister really ask that question?

YES!!! Please don't get it twisted...people may not know but it is my belief, from being around other pastors, that we pastor types struggle the most with questions about God, faith, salvation, etc. Why? Because we can get so caught up in making sure that others (our congregations) get the message (Gospel) that when we look up, days, weeks, months, years have passed by and we, as pastors, feel empty and ask what happened? Reading the scriptures don't do nothing. Praying...what? Why pray, it all stays the same? (Am I hitting any buttons yet?)

Why a blog of this sort? I just wanted to put voice to some things that I believe causes challenges for many people who may not be pastors/preachers/ministers, etc. I have discovered, thank God, that it is OKAY TO QUESTION GOD!!

I do believe that God is BIGGER than our questions, our issues AND our challenges. Anybody with me on this one? If not, it is okay...I know the truth and the truth shall set all folks free!

Until next time...

Thoughts on Poverty

2009-08-04T21:51:00.003-04:00

Greetings,

In a few weeks I begin school, in the meantime, I emailed some professors and asked for the reading lists for classes I know will involve much reading. One of those classes is "Christian Ethics" which is part of the theology track requirement.

Currently, I am reading a book entitled "Empowerment Ethics for a Liberated People: A Path to African American Social Transformation" by Cheryl Sanders. It is about the empowerment of African Americans in various arenas. In a chapter today, I read a comment on poverty that really struck me.

It is my belief, for quite sometime, we in the U.S. have the power to eliminate poverty (as well as other things like drug trafficking) if we wanted to. I came across this quote by Jerry G. Watts, a political scientist, who wrote in Christianity and Crisis: "The crisis of the poor in the United States lies in one fact: The resources needed to end poverty are readily available, but the will to end poverty is non-existent...On present evidence, then, it is not at all clear that our society has the moral integrity to end poverty. Regardless of the ease, cost-effectiveness, or self-interest involved in generating a more humane society, until we begin to care, to develop communal articulations of empathy, all our planning will be in vain. Until then, the poor will continue to be destroyed -- and with them, most remnants of our claim to humanity." (Side note - book was copyrighted in 1995)

I thought, "Wow, finally the words to one of my thoughts in connection to poverty in America." I find it hard to believe that we live in the "richest" country in the world and yet we can't - or won't - end poverty. The most amazing part of the quote, to me, is when he states that the "will to end poverty is non-existent". As I look around in the community and city I live in, I have to believe this is true. For example, there are so many children living well below the poverty line in America and with all the unemployment, I see this as getting worse rather than better.

I am SO thankful for organizations that are really trying to do their best to help those that the larger society deem unworthy to help - single mothers, children, people coming out of prisons - especially African American males, those in rehab for their addictions, those living with AIDS/HIV, etc. Perhaps, one day, there will an end to many of these social issues. Until then, I challenge us all - myself included - to do something to Uplift and Empower another person.

Until Next Time...

Want Ads

2009-07-31T21:22:00.004-04:00

I was in the car today having a discussion with my companion about jobs. I commended on the fact that our neighbor (out of work for almost 9 months) had not gotten a call back about any of his job applications. He even had an interview at a local Lowes that opens in a few weeks. As I thought more about it I said, "Why can't they be honest in want ads?". Let me now invite you to my little world.

Companies/businesses post want ads all the time. I saw one today: "Now hiring managers and assistant managers". What they really mean is: "Now hiring people with little experience, teachable, trainable, non-aggressive, submissive to authority and non-creative and lack of initiative" because THAT is what they are looking for.

They don't want the assistant managers who have worked in companies/businesses in that position elsewhere because they may have a brain and ask questions or they may be smarter than the person hiring them. To me, that borders on insecurity of your ability and skill. With SO MANY people out of work, I can't believe the number of folks who are qualified but they get the "you are too qualified" (really saying: "You may want to bring in new ideas") or "You probably will not stay long" (meaning: "Once you get a better offer you will be gone") or "You will not like the environment" (I got that one when I applied for a part time gig - meaning: "They curse like a sailor and you may be bothered by that").

I know that want ads can't be real (companion brought me back to reality by mentioning the EOC folks) but it would help to meet folks in person before passing judgement based on age or experience. Just something that I was thinking about today.

Until Next Time...

I Wonder...

2009-07-28T13:38:00.003-04:00

Today we spent some time on the actual beach. We have been here since Saturday and today was the first day I ventured out to the sand. I like the beach but can't stand the sand between my toes.

Anyway, as we were sitting there, I pondered and asked the question: "Why don't more of us (African Americans) go to the beach? Or the mountains? Or become vegetarians? Or Episcopalians" Or Presbyterians?" My companion's response was "Because for so long we weren't allowed access to those places and so now, we just don't go or do those things". Interesting answer.

Don't get me wrong. Many of us do go to the beach, the mountains, become vegetarians, Episcopals, etc. We have professional hockey players, swimmers and cyclists. We just don't celebrate those athletes like we do the basketball and football players.

As I sat there, I began to wonder in a totally different way. I asked "Is it in our DNA?" My reason behind that is partly because of what my companion said. For so long we haven't done those things and the last REAL boat ride we had, didn't turn out too good - if you know what I mean. My companion response was "that is a very interesting thought". I thought the same thing.

Is it in our DNA to not do some things as a whole or is it playing into a sterotype. "We were born with our tan so we don't need to go to the beach." is often the response when I ask other Black Americans about the beach. "I like my pig feet and fatback and grease." is a response I get when I asked about having a more healthy diet. Are we programmed to NOT want to do certain things and if so, are other groups programmed that way as well? I don't see Hispanics at the beach much either and very seldom do I see overweight Hispanics.

Again, this is just my experience of living almost 45 years in an environment in which I have been blessed to see, interact and experience other cultures and groups.

I guess this is a rabbit I must chase after I get back home. For now, I am content watching the waves come in and seeing all the European Americans on the beach trying to become the color God created me to be.

Until next time...

Grow Up In Christ

2009-07-20T21:23:00.005-04:00

When we are growing as mature Christians in Christ, there are areas of growth that we can look at in order to make changes as we grow. Here are three shared at 11am service at St. John's MCC on July 19th. If interested in audio, check it out from the list on the right under "places of interest".

Grow Up In Christ...
1) Concerning Possessions - As we grow, the things we have are to be put in their right place. We own our possessions, our possessions do not own us.

2) Concerning Popularity - Does it really matter if we are the most popular person at school, at our jobs, within our circle of friends? I don't think it will be our popularity that God will be asking us about when we get to the "pearly gates" so to speak.

3) Concerning Position - How often do we "believe" that if we work 24/7 that we will be more appreciated, promoted, get more money, etc.? The reality is that, they were fine before you began working there and if something happens, they will be fine after you are gone. Is it really worth it?

Until Next Time...

Beat the BLUES

2009-07-19T10:07:00.004-04:00

This was a sermon preached at St. John's MCC on July 19th. If interested in the audio, check out the website at the right under "places of interest". This was the 8:45am service.

B - BELIEVE the Positive
No matter how challenging things may be, think on the positive and I believe it WILL outweigh the negative!

L-LOOK for the Purpose
Everything we go through in our lives have a purpose - good or bad or indifferent. I don't believe that things happen by accident. Look for the purpose when you are being challenged.

U - UTILIZE the Promises
It is so easy to forget that God has promised to supply all our needs and that God's grace is sufficient and that God is always with us and that God brings us through the valley of the shadow of death...Need I go on! AMEN!!

E- ENCOURAGE other People
Get out of yourself when you are going through something. Give a good word to someone else or help them through and you will be AMAZED at how small your "issue" may become or that God may have provided a way out when you took your eyes off of it.

S - SING God's Praises
"Jesus Loves Me This I Know" is one of my favorite songs to sing when life is getting me down. It helps to turn things around because I know that no matter what people may say or think about me, God LOVES ME!!!

Until Next time...

Interesting Sight Today

2009-07-19T00:36:00.003-04:00

As I was sitting outside of an apartment complex office today, I saw something that I had never seen before...Butterflies fighting/chasing each other.

I may be the last person on earth to have realized that just as squirrels chase each other along with birds that butterflies would do the same. Well...I didn't know that.

There were three butterflies hanging around the bushes and flowers and all of a sudden they just started chasing/fighting each other. One would fly away and another would come up really fast behind it and then another one would join in the fun. It was a very interesting sight to say the least.

Well, unfortunately, that was the highlight of the day. NO...I just remembered, we found a Dairy Queen (DQ) close to our house today. DQ was the place to go in the town I grew up in. They had great ice cream and great cheeseburgers. Today was a dipped ice cream day. Maybe next week will be a cheeseburger day. I can't wait...

Until next time...

End of an Era

2009-07-13T22:50:00.011-04:00

Have you ever had something that you had that "moved" with you no matter where or what it was? An old t-shirt that you got when you remember running a marathon? A pair of jeans that you had when you met that "special someone"? The picture of your first "girl/boy friend" from elementary school? Well, I had something like that, mine were my first pair of Frye boots.

When I was in school, my mom made sure that I got the best of everything because she and my dad didn't have that option growing up. My dad was a factory worker with a 6th grade education and she only got through 10th grade and had to leave school to work in order for her sisters to go off to college. So, my brothers and I were quite spoiled growing up. At some point, I heard of Frye boots and just had to have a pair.

My mom was finally able to purchase them for around $100. Back then, that was a LOT of money to spend on a pair of boots for a kid in high school, but she did it anyway. I wore those boots through high school and into college. They survived a freshman country hoe down and other such gatherings at school. I had them on when I met the person I am with now (14 years next week). And even though I can't wear them anymore, they have made it through at least 5 moves.

Tonight, I said good bye. Below is a very rough and worn picture of them.
Oh, they stories they could tell!!!!

Until next time...

A New Level of Ignorance

2009-07-08T19:00:00.004-04:00

DISCLAIMER: All will be gender neutral to keep the innocence of those involved.

Wow!! I had something happen today that absolutely took my breath away. Not that it was a big surprise, but it only confirmed some things in my mind that I had hoped weren't true.

I often write about the happenings at school, my life and work. Today is work. Here is the story:

Earlier this week, I was speaking to a person in leadership about a book that is required reading for an upcoming class in the fall (Yes, I like to read ahead) entitled, "The Mis-Education of the Negro" by Carter Woodson. I realize that many have probably already read this book but unfortunately, due to being in another field for over 14 years, I didn't have much time for much "enlightened" outside reading. Anyway, I was sharing a little from the book and they said they would like to read it.

Today at work, I was speaking with a co-worker about Africa and somehow we got on the subject of white Africans. I told the co-worker that I actually know a pastor who is a white African - born and raised on South Africa most of his life. The co-worker tried to tell me that I "DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS WHITE AFRICANS". There it is! Can you believe it? I couldn't believe what I had just heard and so I said, you are kidding, right? They swore up and down they didn't exist. I asked about Apartheid and they said they didn't know anything about that. All they knew was that no white Africans existed. I was AMAZED! Was someone really this ignorant?

I asked another co-worker from Africa who just became a citizen this time last year so they could vote to come and share. They did and shared that most white Africans live in the south and blacks in the north but there was some mixing of the two. The earlier co-work then had the nerve to say the co-worker born and raised in African didn't know what they were talking about either. Can you believe this?

I finally said, how would you know, you haven't been anywhere (yes, it was mean but I was amazed at what I was hearing and I also called the person ignorant - again a bad thing). I looked at the person I had discussed the book with and said "This is a perfect example of the book!" and the co-worker asked what book, I told them and their response was a snort and that it was a "fake book and that if I wanted to pass my class I needed to get a real book". (Did I mention I am on the President's list at my graduate school - 4.0 grade point average) Can you believe this? I thanked them for giving me a real example to discuss in class of what the book is really about and how it truly does speak to the mis-education of the negro in today's time.

Needless to say, the co-worker didn't speak to me for the next 45 minutes of their time at work.

Upon reflection, I realize that this person is probably part of a majority of Black Americans who truly do believe the history books that they read in school and anything else beyond that is false. How can you be Black and not know about Apartheid? How can you be Black and assume on Blacks live in Africa? I am still processing, but needed to share in order to get some sanity back in my life.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time...

Disappoints

2009-07-06T20:27:00.003-04:00

I am always amazed at the disappointment that we feel when it comes to people. How often do we put our trust in others and we are crushed? How often do we believe what others say only to find out they were lying all along? I know that God doesn't disappoint us, ever, but I am talking about people at the moment.

Why is it so hard for people just to be honest and open and upfront about what they are doing? Does pride hold us in so much bondage that even if we are a child of God, we continue to stay there?

Can you tell someone disappointed me today?

Until next time...

Transition

2009-07-02T18:53:00.003-04:00

Today was a major day of transition coupled with a bit of grief for me.

A friend, over the years, had given to me displays of Lego sets and today I had to give them back. As a child, my mother had bought legoes for me and over the years, have collected many sets including Harry Potter and Star Wars and others.

Now that we are about to move and downsize, I had to give them up and it was HARD!!!

It is always hard to give up something that has been a part of you for so long. I felt, (feel), that life will be very different moving forward. Along with the legoes, I have given up many books, clothes and other items that have been collected over the years.

As I write this, there are some saving graces. One being the two dogs that are lying underneath my feet at the moment - content to just be alive. If only we, too, could be content with simply being able to breath in and out. Of course that is a topic for another blog entry all together.

Until next time...

What Happened Was...

2009-06-28T20:06:00.003-04:00

A funny thing happened on the way to church this morning...I got stopped by a cop going 72 in a 55!!!

The story...

Got up on time but friend lost keys somewhere between house and job. So, even though I was on time, I spent any extra time looking for keys in and around the house.

After finally picking up my sermons (I had two for two different services), I was on my way to Raleighwood. I was a little later than I wanted to be but had plenty of time before the 8:45am service. So off I went driving down Hwy 40 jamming to music on iPod (gotta get in the church spirit). On the way, something in my Spirit said "put your collar on". WHAT!? I am no where near the church. "Put your collar on" the voice said again. So I did and continued on my way - jamming. Then I came across a hill and BAM, there was the cop car.

Of course, I ASSUMED he didn't see me. No such luck! He made a U-turn and nicely pulled up behind me. All of a sudden I started a new song with one word repeated over and over again - "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" You know how it is, you just start bleeding the blood of Jesus and praying that all will well.

He came up and asked if I knew the speed limit in that area, of course - 55 mph - and he said I was going 72. Well, my speedometer wasn't working so he could have said 80 mph and I would have said okay. Of course he asked for license and registration and I promptly gave it to him.

Anyway, he came back and gave me a WARNING! Praise the LORD!!! I then did the other song, "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus!" I got emotional BUT I didn't let him see me cry.

I shared the story at church and one of the deacons said it was lesson of obedience (listened to the small voice) another friend said God's favor!

I don't know which. All I know is that today was a day that I saw the hand of God and anything that happens, it is a GOOD DAY!!

Until next time...

Better Late than Never

2009-06-27T21:59:00.003-04:00

Now that the shock, for some, is over, I thought I would add my two cents to the passing of the "Moonwalker".

Michael was 5 years older than me and as I have sat and watched the tributes, videos and old pictures, I am still amazed at how he moved. For me it is all about the dancing. Yes...brother could sing BUT brother could DANCE!

I have sat, enthralled, at the seamless way he walked across the floor and it brings chills to my body. I will truly miss seeing the moonwalk. Can others do it? Many have tried, but only Michael is the TRUE moonwalker.

It is my prayer that he is now FINALLY at peace!!!

Until next time...

The Simple Life - Another Installment

2009-06-22T10:58:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

Last week my "Simple Life" blog was on the issue of finding black jeans. Today or rather this weekends is "cooking".

I was to cook dinner on Saturday night. Let me say that cooking is not something that I like to do or even attempt to do most of the time. However, there are some things that I can do - from a can - and one of those is Manwich.

So, I brown the meat, drain the grease and put the manwich - from the can - in with the brown meat and let it simmer and ate it. Other items included baked beans with brown sugar added (from me) and corn on the cob (frozen and heated up).

Simple dinner and simple taste.

WELL!! On Sunday, I stopped by the job and told my co-workers that I had cooked dinner on Saturday and they were excited for me until...

Someone (not calling names because they live with me...smile) decided to let them know that I did do a good job but there was no seasoning in the meat. To me, the seasoning is in the can (simple remember) but they all felt there should have been seasoning. The other person that I live with said they didn't season it because I would get upset since I was cooking. I really didn't care since they had done it before.

Again, all I wanted was a simple meal. So what it was from a few cans and included frozen and then heated food. It was the simplicity of it.

Until next time...

Life Challenges

2009-06-18T19:13:00.002-04:00

Isn't it interesting how things always seem challenging at the same time? This past few months, several things have come up for me that causes me to wonder "why even bother anymore".

Work - We all know that we, as human beings, need to feel appreciation when it comes to our lives and work is no different. I believe it is important to recognize those that do a good job and work with those that are challenging in order to create a more harmonious work environment (I am a libra). However, it seems that the squeaky wheel gets the attention where I work. The other day I was voicing my opinion about something and got called on it by someone in management and my comment was "WOW, I have been asking these questions for quite some time and only NOW that I seem to ask them with a loud voice do you pay attention!" I mean really!!! Why bother anymore to even do a good job.

Church - No matter where you go, race is ALWAYS a factor...nuff said on that one. When folks are making transition, it seems that People of Color are always the ones who take the fallout and we do it with a smile. Why bother to even try and act like a Child of God when others will always see you and others like you as a N_ _ _ _! (you fill in the blanks!!!)

Just my ramblings for today!

Until next time...

The Simple Life

2009-06-13T19:47:00.004-04:00

Well, another adventure - another blog.

So today I went to the mall to look for black jeans. A task I thought would be very easy. WRONG!! The jeans are in connection to a new worship service beginning tomorrow (Sunday) at the church I attend. The pastor wants us to wear black jeans and the black polo shirts with the church's name on it for the service. "No problem" I thought. "Just go to the store and find a pair".

After 2.5 hours and trying on at least 15 pairs of jeans, I finally found a pair. Big deal, right? So why the blog?

The interesting part is: As I was looking for the jeans, I found out that 1) black jeans are not the popular; 2) if they have them, they are not going to be in a size or style that you REALLY like (mine are Levis...always good) and 3) they are asking stupid prices ($50+) for jeans that are hole, faded looking, and wrinkled and PEOPLE BUY THEM THIS WAY! No offense to those reading that have does this.

My question: Why pay that much for jeans that, overtime, will fade and get holey? If you want the wrinkled look, just wash and pull out the dryer...don't iron (which I don't do). Just curious.

All I wanted was a pair of black jeans! Is that too much to ask for? What happened to the simple life?

Well, until next time...

SNAKES

2009-06-11T19:02:00.004-04:00

Okay, there are times in which I display the characteristics of being all girl and this week was one of those times.

While sitting in my basement and talking to a friend on the phone Monday night, the door was prompted open just a bit since my dogs were in the yard. All of a sudden I notice something underneath the bottom of the door. I get up off the couch and as calmly as possible said, "I have to go. There is a SNAKE trying to come in my house!". Believe it or not, I was calm on the outside BUT inside I was SCREAMING and whimpering like a little girt. I hung up and called the neighbor, who last year, killed a copperhead while cutting grass. I spoke to him calmly as well and he came right over. As he was coming down the driveway, I yelled out if he had something to kill it with and his reply "It will be alright". Men!!!

Anyway, the calmness factor was because my dogs were outside and the snake was between them and me and the last thing I wanted was to scare the snake and have it turn around and bite a dog. Yes, I was afraid of scaring the snake and here I was about to scream bloody hell!!!

As my neighbor opened the door, I could really see it's small bottom that was about 10 inches long and was informed "it's a copperhead". At that point, I ran back up the basement stairs and proceeded to yell down at him. He scooped it up in the dust pan and put it in a small garbage pain and then, had the nerve to ask "Do you want to see it?". HECK NO!!!!!

Meanwhile (sorry for the length of this entry...) puppy who eats EVERYTHING that moves was beating on the door and I asked my neighbor to open it and called him to me.

We managed to get the snake up stairs and out of the house. Did we kill it? NO...he put it in his yard waste can for next day pick up since it was pretty full.

Lesson: Next time this happens, the outside will match the inside for hysteria so that I don't end up with a pounding headache like I did. I was SO calm, I made myself sick.

Aftermath: Partner purchased moth balls and mineral oil to put around rocks by sump pump in the yard. Of course, nothing really gets rid of snakes - according to the old man at the hardware store - but, hey, it makes us feel good and that is all that matters!!

Until next time...

Theology

2009-06-08T23:51:00.006-04:00

This summer I am taking an Introduction to Theology class and thus far it has been very enlightening. Being in Divinity School has TRULY opened my eyes to things I knew and didn't know before. I pastored a founding church for 10 years and stepped down due to my realization that I needed to know more and learn more about leading church, if that was to ever happen again. My plans (not sure what God has in mind) is not to do pulpit ministry but rather finish Divinity School and do counseling and perhaps write a book.

I share all of that to say that I am learning that theology - the study of God - is the foundation of all that we do in church - clergy and laity. Without a sound theology to stand on, what is there to believe. Liberation Theology is about theology that was done within people of color communities first that allowed us to see the bible in a way that European Americans didn't want us to. Womanist theology is teaching me that Black women look at the bible very differently than white women and, overall, there has to be some type of theology that Black people, in general can resonate with.

All in all, I am excited about what I am currently learning and look forward to learning more as I continue on this journey toward obtaining a Masters in Divinity.

Today

2009-05-26T22:55:00.003-04:00

As I was driving to work today, I was wondering why I was feeling so lethargic. I didn't sleep all night long...just tossed and turned. Just couldn't figure out why. And then...

Today is May 26 and if my mom was still alive, she would have been 86 today. She was 41 when I was born and died just before my 40th birthday in 2004.

As I reflected back over the day, I recognized we didn't have the best relationship that a mother-daughter could have, but (after much money and therapy) I have learned that she did the best she could with what she had and with what she knew.

Nuff said...

Until next time...

Update

2009-05-11T20:51:00.002-04:00

School ended on May 5th and graduation for seniors was on May 9th. I initially had not plan on attending but glad I did. To be there and to see the happiness and to hear the thankfulness to God for getting them through was very energizing for me. I thought "One day that will be me". I felt honored to be in the presence of the graduates and their family and friends who were equally as proud as I was.

The tears flowed and the dancing in the Spirit was truly present. It is my prayer that they go out and be the change they want to see in the world!

Until next time...

You Look Lighter!

2009-05-06T21:40:00.002-04:00

These words, and others similar to them, have been spoken by several people over this last year and a half after stepping out of the pulpit. When I hear phrases such as these, I have to ask myself "Did I look bad before?" and if so, it must have been REALLY bad!

Granted, I am not as stressed as I was pastoring but still stressed but different. There is a different stress when it is over other people as opposed to over your own life. While in the church, I had other folks and my own life to cause stress and now, just my own life. MMMM? Is there a sermon/message in here?

Until next time...

When Life Imitates Life

2009-05-05T22:08:00.002-04:00

I struggled with how to write this blog. Not sure if it will be published or not. If you are reading this, obviously, I decided to publish it.

When life imitates life, it is a very hard place to be. You look around and think "This won't happen to me" and then WHAM!! it does.

When life imitates life, it is time to do something different. Things that used to be, aren't anymore.

When life imitates life, it is time to put pride/ego aside. It is very easy to sit back and think that "God will work it out" when the reality is, sometimes God can't work it out until you come to senses.

When life imitates life, it can be very humbling. I heard someone say once that in order to move to the next level in your life, you first must loose all you have that is holding you at your current level. This may mean losing everything or it may mean losing a piece. Whatever it is, trust me, when it is gone it will humble you.

When life imitates life, it gives God a chance to be glorified. Now this one is VERY challenging even for a pastor person like me. I know all the cliches, said them myself to others and really don't like to hear them back. HOWEVER, it is true. In times like this, it gives God an opportunity to step in and show out!

When life imitates life, just go with the flow!!!

Until next time...

The Joys of School

2009-05-02T16:47:00.002-04:00

Okay, today was the last day of class and we finally got an affirmative that summer school is going to happen. Is it the tenth hour? YES!!! I am enjoying the experience that I am getting at my HBCU but I had NO IDEA how challenging it would be in the process. I guess I have to chalk it up to God handling this one because this would not have been my first choice and it wasn't.

In light of all of that, I am grateful that, even though it doesn't look like it, God always has your best interest at heart. I have always wanted to attend Divinity school and every excuse I gave, God vetoed to the point that I am almost half way done with a 4.0 GPA. Praise God!!! When asked why did I choose this school over others, I now say that I feel God wanted me to have the experience of being with folks just like me.

All my life I have been the one Black in a room of 33-34 white in school and went to a predominately white undergraduate school. I grew up Black Baptist but spent most of my adulthood in a predominately white church. So...here I am in my early 40's attending a HBCU after pastoring a predominately Black church for ten years. It almost seems backward but when praying to God (complaining actually) about this backward thing, God spoke to me very clearly and said "I never waste anyone's time".

I now know that my plan was MY plan and not God's plan. So, I am enjoying the experiences and challenges of going to the HBCU and I know that all I learn and experience, God will indeed use one day to help others on their journey.

Until next time...

Chapel Today

2009-04-25T21:42:00.003-04:00

Well, it is almost the end of another semester at school. Next Saturday is the last Saturday for Chapel. As for today, it was another wonderful time in Chapel. Our speaker was a graduating senior and he spoke from Luke 24:44-45 on the topic - "When Grace Speaks". This scripture is at the end of the book of Luke and verse 44 are the words of Christ speaking to the disciples.

Many things went through my head as he spoke.
- We are to be people of Grace
- When Jesus spoke in verse 44, what he says are HIS words! He speaks them and he owns them. In that moment of speaking is a moment of grace. The preacher went on to challenge us by asking us to reflect on times when God just showed up in our life expectantly. When those moments occur - that is Grace
- In looking at verse 45, even after the disciples had seen and been with Jesus through the miracles, healings and feeding of the people, they still needed to have their minds opened to the scriptures. There is never to be a time when we think that because of reading the bible all our lives, getting certificates or even going through divinity school, that we have made it. No matter how old we become, our minds are constantly being opened up to God and God's Word.

This was all very interesting for me because my spiritual director has been challenging me to do with this topic of GRACE. I can't say that I am any further long than I was a few months ago, but at least at this point, I can say that GRACE IS STILL SPEAKING!

Until Next Time...

Unity in Diversity

2009-04-24T00:06:00.002-04:00

Today I had the opportunity to hear Bishop Yvette Flunder of The City of Refuge UCC at a luncheon for pastors on the topic of HIV/AIDS and what we can do. If you have never heard of Bishop Flunder, I encourage you to visit her website www.sfrefuge.org. She is a dynamic woman of God and is truly committed to the issue of HIV/AIDS in the Black church and Black community.

I wanted to share some of her insights with those that read this blog:
She shared from the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman (John 4) and she came at it from a very different perspective. She saw the huge walls of the well and the deepness of the well as a barrier to get to the water and this was both literally AND spiritually. Here was Jesus sitting on the other side of the huge walls and deep wall - the "living" water, if you will. She compared this to folks today who are looking for Jesus but can't find him because "church" folks have put this huge wall and deep well in between Jesus and them. Jesus was indeed a simple man but far too many Christians have made him complex. All Jesus wants is for us to "Love God with all our heart, mind and soul and our neighbor as ourselves" and to worship God in spirit and in truth. Bishop Flunder pointed out, or rather articulated well, that many of our churches have a lot of spirit but not a lot of truth and I tend to agree with her. When Jesus asked the woman to go get her husband and she said it was not her husband she was with, Jesus told her she had spoken truthfully. In that moment, Jesus made it acceptable to tell the truth. People are looking for a place to speak their truth without being judged. We still live in a "fear-based" spiritually where we fear telling the truth because we may loose something. She reminded us of Bishop Carlton Pearson who lost everything, almost everything, he held dear when he began to preach about this idea of inclusion. (I am not going to try and unpack that here, but if interested, google him). The very people he had set up in their ministries turned their backs on him. END OF HER INSIGHTS

MY THOUGHTS AGAIN:
We have gotten so got up in the pomp and circumstance of church that many have forsaken God for gods. It is more important to celebrate various anniversaries than to celebrate a soul being saved. It is more important to recognize various officers in the church as opposed to those doing ministry on the front line. Don't get me wrong. Celebrations are VERY important in the life of the church. We all want to be recognized for our good work but Paul tells us to be recognized for the work we do for God not for being the top tither in the church.

Because of the pomp and circumstance, our people are dying from HIV/AIDS because far too many churches are afraid to speak the truth and when the church is afraid to speak the truth, then it makes it impossible for others to speak the truth as well.

Until next time...

HIV/AIDS Awareness

2009-04-23T00:40:00.003-04:00

Tonight I had the wonderful opportunity to be in a room full of college students and two people infected and affected with HIV/AIDS. As part of my class - The Church and HIV/AIDS - we had to do a workshop/forum of some sort on HIV/AIDS awareness. I chose to partner with someone who does a bible study at a local university that is predominately African American.

I was able to get in touch with a director who provided two speakers from the local AIDS organization: A older African American female, recently married living with HIV and someone who is affected due to her father have AIDS. Both shared very moving stories and it was encouraging to sit in the back and see many heads nodding and agreeing with what was being shared. The group was 15 people strong with 12 of them being from the bible study.

For me, it was great to see another perspective. Too often when we think of AIDS we immediately think gay, even in 2009. College students think "it will not happen to me" and yet it is rampant on many college campuses. It is my prayer that many left thinking about their own sexual life and if they are having sex, to do so in a safe way.

Reality is that we live in a world where premarital sex does exist. I am all for waiting until that committed relationship, but the curiosity factor takes over in the minds, or should I say bodies, of teenagers and young adults and life happens...sometimes LITERALLY!!!

Until Next Time...

Change in Format

2009-04-18T19:12:00.003-04:00

Okay...I have been tossing around the idea of writing a book. Many have suggested this for a while now. Another suggested doing a book of affirming Sundays. For some reason, I have saved most of my sermons over the last 14 years of pastoring. I have also been journaling since 1987. Needless to say, I have written quite a bit over the years. I actually have all of the journals from 1987 and friends know that, upon my death, they are to burn them NOT READ them. Given how I write, I am not sure if many folks could read them anyway.

So...a thought came to me: "Why not combined them. Choose a finite number of sermons that are affirming to the LGBT community and search through my journals to see what was happening in my life at the time of the sermon. I believe that, as preachers, we preach first to ourselves and then to the congregation. By looking at the sermons, I read through the journals to find connections. The book would then be a semi-bio kind of thing."

Therefore, the format of my blog may change a bit to reflect the writing that I may be doing. I am not promising that I will blog everyday, but I thought writing about the process would be good for me and perhaps, for those that read my blog, give you food for thought and solicit your input.

Until next time...

Third Point

2009-03-16T21:45:00.002-04:00

Okay...
Once you have ACCEPTED your life situation and ACKNOWLEDGED your need to/for change, then Jesus can ANSWER your request.

The leper understood he was a leper and cried out to Jesus for a change and Jesus answered his request. In our own lives, the same sequence can and does occur. When we accept and acknowledge then Jesus can do the touching part. All we have to do is be willing to take the first step in crying out to Jesus. He already knows what we need and I believe will often wait to see if we can admit change to ourselves.

Until next time...

Point Number Two

2009-03-05T10:35:00.003-05:00

When you accept your life situation the next part is to ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR NEED TO CHANGE.

The Leper understood that he needed to change. He had heard of this man called Jesus who was preaching and teaching throughout the countryside. The man who was healing the sick and raising the dead and restoring sight to the blind. The man that some called the Son of God. He knew that THIS man could change him. So he sought him out.

He took the chance to be out in the public arena. Something lepers never did. He took the chance on being stoned, called names and kicked on. All because he knew he needed to change. Once he understood that, by any means necessary he had to get to Jesus.

Throughout our lives there will be times in which we know we need to make a change. Often times it is a very shallow change that occurs. The kind of change this leper was seeking was a total change - inside out. When we can truly acknowledge our need for change, only then can Jesus change us from the inside out. It will require, often times, to deal with the pain of past hurt, the abuse of relationships and perhaps the acknowledgement of unforgiveness of others and self.

When Paul was changed on the road to Damascus, I am sure during the time he was blind he thought of all the people he had persecuted because of claiming to follow Jesus. He was restored to sight and was given a "new" way of seeing things as well.

When we ACCEPT our life situation and ACKNOWLEDGE our need for change only then...

Until Next Time...

Three Point Sermon

2009-03-03T16:45:00.002-05:00

Greetings,

I have had some preaching gigs lately and thought I would share a few from time to time. The following is part 1 of a message I preached a few weeks ago at a church in Wilmington, NC. The sermon is based on the Lectionary text from Mark 1:40-45. The scripture I used was Mark 1:40-42 and the title was "I Do Choose! Be Made Clean!"

Jesus has been traveling through the countryside preaching and as he is going from place to place, he encounters a leper who calls out to him. Jesus, moved with compassion, reaches out and touches him and immediately he is healed. Jesus broke the norms of the day by touching this leper that was deemed uncleaned by society.

Point 1: Accept Your Life Situation
The leper understood that he was a leper and came to Jesus begging and kneeling - in a humble position. He knew that after all the money he had probably spent on doctors and others, he KNEW he had to get to Jesus to receive a touch from him. He had accepted his life situation.

In our lives, we often get stuck because we are unwilling to face our current life situation - whatever that is. We are unwilling to face the reality of our addictions, our abusive and unhealthy relationships, our depression, our (fill in the blank). We want to pretend that things are not as bad as they are because if we accept our life situation we will have to face some pain, disappointments and other challenges. In order to move forward in our lives, we must be willing to accept the place we are presently in.

Too many times we dwell on "what was" or think about "what could be" and not deal with "what is". In dealing with the "what is" we don't do it alone because God is ever present in and around us. Just like the leper, we can go to Jesus and ask for help while in our current life situation. Jesus doesn't ask for perfection, just a willing body. Which leads to the second point...

Until Next Time...

Saturday at School

2009-02-01T18:37:00.002-05:00

Well, another school day has come and gone. Not TOO eventful! Went to a new restaurant in Raleigh called MiMi's on Capital Blvd. It was okay. I probably will not be going back. Went with a group of folks to celebrate a friend's birthday.

Chapel was good, as usual on Saturday. Our speaker was a Divinity School student and I thought she did a great job. With Chapel being my only real church at the moment, it is good to know that I will always get something out of Chapel.

Her topic was "God's Mercy at Work" and her text was Jonah 3:1-5, 10. As any good Baptist preacher, she had three points: Our past sins doesn't 1) change God's plans; 2) change God's power and 3) change God's promises.

Jonah was asked, by God, to go to a place that he didn't want to go. He tried to get away and the scripture tells us that he was thrown overboard and "big fish" swallowed him and he stay in the belly for 3 days. Eventually, it was spat out onto the beach and was given a second chance by God to carry out God's original plans. Then due to God's power Jonah was able to carry out the message for God and God made promises that God later kept.

Until Next Time...

School Thus Far

2009-01-27T21:56:00.004-05:00

(DISCLAIMER: Forgive the run on paragraphs. I tried to put in spaces but blogger is not cooperating with me tonight)

Greetings,

Forgive me for being behind in my posting. Now that school is back in session, my blog will be more consistently updated. So...here we go.

On Saturday, I had to lead Chapel service. Basically, just keep the service flowing through it's parts. Being that I had not been in a pulpit in over a year, it was actually okay for me. Almost like falling off a bike...you never forget how to ride. My first sermon will be Feb. 15th at a church in NC and will post to my blog on how that goes.

School thus far - interesting. Church History 2 and Christian Worship on Saturdays and The Church & HIV/AIDS on Tuesday night. I am still amazed at how, in this day and time, folks are still uncomfortable talking about HIV/AIDS in our churches - especially predominately African-American. It is African-American woman who is the largest population currently infected and yet we don't talk about it. Hopefully, by the end of the semester, folks will be in a different place as will I. Being in a conservative African-American Christian environment can be quite challenging to my way of thinking and way of life. In either case, I will keep folks updated.

Chapel on Saturday was pretty good. One of our professors preached on the topic "Going Through Samaria". He used the text of John 4:1-4 about Jesus going from Judea area to Galilee and going through Samaria as opposed to going around it like most good Jews. You see, Jews didn't have a good relationship with Samaritans and most of the time they stayed out of each other's way. The point he was trying to make is that Jesus will "go through our Samaria" to get to us. Our Samaria may be addictions, depression, bad relationships, etc. That no matter where we are in our lives, Jesus will do whatever is necessary to get to us. Most folks like to go around areas that are uncomfortable to us but Jesus goes right through them.

As Christians, sometimes we have to "go through Samaria" to reach those that society may deemed unworthy. BUT if we are to do the work of Jesus here on this earth, we have to be willing to go through Samaria with the same love that Jesus showed us by coming through OUR "Samaria" when we least expected it and when we most needed Jesus!!!

Until next time...

Update

2009-01-14T19:18:00.003-05:00

Well, today is day 14 of the first month of the year - 2009. So...what has been happening lately? Well, I attended church - 2 times - on Sunday. At 11am I attended a MCC in the local area and in the evening, 6:30pm, I attended a church in Winston-Salem, NC (about 1.5 hours away). Both services were good. The morning was about living a life pleasing to God and the scripture was in connection to John the baptist and his having to baptize Jesus. Sometimes, living a life that is pleasing to God means obedience even when it is not popular. The evening service was about "getting mine in 2009". If you say it out loud, it rhymes.

Lots of things are going through my mind that are the same as before: Am I why I am suppose to be? How will school be this semester (begins this Saturday)? Others are asking if I will pastor again? Do I write a book? etc.

So many questions...very small brain!

Until next time...

Current Happenings

2009-01-07T18:51:00.003-05:00

Greetings,

Well, school begins this Saturday with orientation and then Tuesday with class - HIV & AIDS in the Black Church. I feel that I need to get some new information on the subject. This semester should be an interesting one. With two classes on Saturday and a 2.5 hour time lapse in between classes. I definitely will need to find something to occupy my time. Coming back home is not an option.

Life in general has been very interesting. Went on a recent rant/rave in connection to God, faith, etc. and as God would do - got shut down the next day. I went to grab my iPod for a trip and the gospel playlist came up without any prompting from me. I figured I had better listen to it.

Then, I got an email about preaching in the month of February - Black History Month - from a colleague. Another coincidence? I think not!!

THEN...today I was talking to my assistant manager about some things that were bothering me and he, being at one point a chaplain assistant in the army, pointed out that I was still sensitive to the "goings ons" around me. Meaning that, most folks are desensitized to the language, low morale, etc. and the fact that it bothered me told him that my spirit was troubled. He went on to say that he would have been MORE concerned the things I see and hear did not bother me. He likened it to the story of the prodigal son (yes, at work behind closed doors and we are talking about God) and how at some point he realized that where he was was NOT the place he was supposed to be. He realized that his friends were use to the "smell of the pigs" but he knew of a better life, a better way in his father's house. What an interesting analogy.

Later on, while driving the work van today, I thought of a line from a recent movie I saw called "The Librarian: Search for the Judas Chalice". The main female character tells the Librarian, who is tired of his job and the way it has taken over his life, to embrace his destiny. That his whole life had led him being the Librarian. I thought of my own life - being a pastor/minister - and I wondered if this is my destiny. I have learned so much about myself and the church over this past year. The end of this month will be a year and I am amazed at how fast it has gone by.

I still have not found a church , as of yet, and I am sure that will be changed by the end of this year.

Until Next Time...

Looking Foward...

2008-12-31T16:42:00.002-05:00

Well, like others during this time, I had to say a little something in connection to 2008.

For me, it was a very enlightening and humbling year. With stepping down from the pulpit, it has been a year of loss. As in grief of a death, there is also grief in connection to any other loss. I realized that my year was built around the church and therefore before I knew it, Easter had come and gone, July 4th had come and gone and other holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. Going away for Thanksgiving wasn't the same for me this year as in the past.

So, here we are and I am, for the first time in 9 years, not be in church for New Year's Eve. Spending a very quiet time with a couple that lives across the street from us. Should be a good time.

As I look into 2009, I am hoping/praying for an easier year in all areas of my life. 2008 was a struggle in many ways and I am sure it was due to lack of a main spiritual place in my life. Still not sure about the church thing but at my partner's urging, we will do something spiritual in 2009, just not sure what.

As we head into 2009, the WORLD will be watching us to see how we respond to a Man of Color at the helm. Yes, 2008 was a good year but 2009 will be...???

Overall, I can't complain. Life is good and I am content.

Until next time...

Gratitude List

2008-12-15T00:13:00.002-05:00

Greetings,

Not much going on since school ended last Saturday. Catching up on reading and TV watching. So...I figured it would be a great time to do a gratitude list:

1) Presence of God (even when you don't think God is there)
2) Relationship that keeps me grounded
3) Dogs that keep me laughing
4) Ability to read that entertains me
5) Sundays - day of respite
6) Cooler weather (good bye to migraines!!)
7) Job - helps pay the bills
8) House - my sanctuary
9) iPod - what can I say
10) Nintendo DS - ditto

Until Next time...

The End of School

2008-12-06T17:35:00.003-05:00

DISCLAIMER: Currently can't do paragraphs, will revisit later.

Greetings,

WOW! I had no idea it has been since Nov. 16th since my last post. My apologies for the long overdue post. Thanksgiving happened and I was out of town and then school took over until TODAY!!! This was my last day of class until Jan. 16th!!! Yippee!!! So...what will I be doing with all of my time?

Catching up on reading books other than school stuff, like..."The Great Emergence: How Christianity is Changing and Why" by Phyllis Tickle; "A Travel Guide to Heaven" by Anthony Destefano; "Mega Shift: The Best News Since Year One" by James Rutz and about 5 others. Strange that the titles all have to do with religious stuff. Interesting!

I also have new games for my Nintendo DS to play. Doing training for my job on the computer, catching up on my blogging and reading other blogs, etc.

Thus far I have at least two A's in school and a possible third A or a B. Will keep you posted on that. Chapel today was our Christmas service and that was about it.

I am just glad for some time of rest and relaxation. Will get back to sharing moments of clarity later.

Until next time...

Chapel and Other Things

2008-11-16T22:51:00.004-05:00

This past Saturday in chapel, the preacher really stirred things up. We had folks doing the "happy dance" and I actually saw someone running the aisle behind me. I don't think I have ever seen anyone do that in my time in chapel.

So...what did he preach on? "Ride It Out! Ride it Out! Sometimes we have to ride out the storm because sometimes it is the "perfect storm". The scripture he used was Matthew 8:23-27 where Jesus is on the bottom of the boat asleep and a storm comes up. They get scared and wake him up and he asked them where is their faith. He spoke about the fact that Jesus told the disciples to follow him and in doing that to trust him. If they truly trusted him then when the storm came up, they should have believed enough to know that Jesus surely was not going to perish and if Jesus wasn't going to perish, then they wouldn't either.

Another point that he made was that the church has become a place to rescue people not a place to restore people. Too often we try and help people when God is trying to teach them. Ride it Out!! Ride it Out!!!! I think that will stay with me. As I look at the semester and the things that will be transpiring by the end of the semester, I need to remind myself to Ride it Out!!!

On another note, WANDA SKYES CAME OUT and got married!!!!!

2008-10-23T19:47:00.011-04:00

DISCLAIMER: I tried to separate the paragraphs to no avail. Sorry for the run on blocks.

"All of my help cometh from the Lord!" It is with these words that I felt God's spirit letting me know that all things are okay. This past Sunday I found myself at worship at a MCC in another state. It was a wonderful experience for me. I was able to worship without anyone knowing who I was (pastor was out of town and the overseer couldn't remember my name). I told her later that she wasn't meant to have remembered my name. I was there to worship and it was good to be able to feel the God's Spirit again. I knew it was always there but it is nice to be reminded every once in a while. I am always amazed at the way that God will let you know that God is ever present in and around you.

I knew I was in the right place when we began worship with singing "Glorious" and then went into "Again, I say Rejoice". That was followed by a song I had never heard before "Come Holy Spirit Medley" and the "My Help". By this time, I was out of it. One thing I discovered after going to a spiritual warfare conference a few years back is that, when I feel the spirit of God I begin to march in place and later learned that is symbolic of stepping on the devil. If that wasn't enough, the next song was "Forever You're My King" in preparation for communion and DURING communion we sang "Lord You Are Welcome", "Come Holy Spirit" and "Let Us Worship" and FINALLY "Let it Rise". Most of these songs are located on my iPod and I listen to them often. Those that weren't are now.

It was an amazing experience for me. The first MCC worship since stepping out of the pulpit of the church I founded. However, I didn't feel a huge rush to go back into the pulpit or to do church work at the moment. I was satisfied with just knowing that God has my back.

Until Next Time...

A New Take on "That One"

2008-10-13T21:00:00.003-04:00

Be sure to turn off the playlist before watching this! Enjoy!!

Until Next time...

Very Funny

2008-10-05T22:48:00.001-04:00

Saturday at School

2008-10-05T22:38:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

This past Saturday, our speaker in chapel was of the Caucasian persuasion. I found it odd how scared she looked even though she graduated from the Divinity School. We often start off very slow but by the end of chapel, the spirit is very high!!! Her message was very inspiring, at least to me. She didn't give a topic, but given the scripture and her sermon, I deduce that her topic was "Can I Get a Witness?" As I sat there, I realized that we are Jesus' witness. Therefore, it is up to us to testify to others about the good things we have personally witnessed about Jesus in our lives. It is our job, as Christians, to share how God has blessed us - DAILY. It is our job, as Christians, to meet people where they are - not beat them over the head with the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our job, to be, as sister friends says all the time - "Jesus with skin on!"

Okay...sermon done...

Until next time.

Interesting Day!

2008-10-02T17:32:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

Today is my usual day off from work and my work day for school (I know, not a real day off), but something happened today that I wanted to share with folks.

As written in earlier blogs, I stepped down from pastoring a church after 10 years. Since that time I have not found a church to attend. Today, while purchasing items from my favorite store (Dollar General) the cashier tells me that she has seen me before. I told her I used to pastor a church. She said she knew me from Imani. She remembered the church! Wow! I said to myself and walked out.

Then, I went to your friendly local library. After checking out three books and two audio books, I was in my car leaving and this lady came over to the car. Since I didn't know her, I opened the passenger side of the car. She asked if I was some one's pastor and I said yes. She said she was at the person's and partner's Holy Union that I performed 6 years ago. She told me her name and to tell the person she saw me. I drove away thinking, "Okay, God, what are you telling me?"

Interesting day, huh???

Until next time...

Supernatural Power

2008-09-29T21:06:00.003-04:00

Greetings,

I continue to be amazed at God's ability to "shut you up"! On Saturday, I was talking about God and how I am tired of being "in the meantime" and tired of "waiting for my breakthrough", yada, yada, yada. There are times when even those who love and know God have moments of weariness. Look at the prophet that went to hide under a tree because he felt he had exceeded all he could do for God and he was tired. Can anyone relate to that?

I was later talking to my spiritual director and made a distinction between believing that God could do all things to accepting that God can do all things. There is a difference. I have always thought that God's blessing would eventually get around to me but I truly believe it for others - first.

Well, my car that I currently have was given to me. That's right...FREE. I have had it since the spring of 2005 and the radio has never worked. As I was talking to my partner about my episode, all of a sudden my radio began to play. Out of the blue! No prompting from me. It just SUPERNATURALLY popped on and it has been on ever since. What is really amazing is that the song that came on was Marvin Sapps' "Never Would have Made It".

Yes, I do like it when God "shuts me up"!

Until next time...

In My World

2008-09-25T16:48:00.002-04:00

It has been quite a while since I last blogged on here. I have been to two worship services at school since I last blogged. Both services were good. As usual, I cried at some point and time. It is quite liberating, for me, to go into a worship space in which I don't have to do anything but be fed. I am still in awe at times of that. For 14 years, I fed folks as a pastor and now I get to be spiritually fed. WOW!!! What a concept.

As of now, I have not had to come out or anything of that sort. At some point, it will probably happen this semester. Due date for papers are fast approaching: Paper on church - church I pastored is Christian and predominately queer. Polity paper - history, doctrine on my denomination - MCC. Faith paper - my belief system - God doesn't make mistakes and created us as we are.

I know that we are all in places for God's time and God's purpose and I know that God has my back and will take me through any challenge. I also know that God will sustain those that will hear and read what I will share.

Oh well...

Until next time....

Gratitude List and other Stuff

2008-09-03T22:15:00.002-04:00

First, Gratitude List

1) God's unconditional love and understanding
2) Relationship with partner
3) A few days off
4) Ability to get work done for school
5) Better glasses to aid in reading (last year was challenging without the progressive lens)
6) New friendships
7) Challenging classes
8) Ability to see the thread that runs throughout my classes this semester (church administration, denominational polity and doctrine, and pastoral care counseling)
9) People who are willing to offer direction when asked
10) Dogs

We were scheduled to go to a conference in New Orleans and of course, it has been canceled. I am disappointed that the conference was canceled because Bishop Desmond Tutu was going to be there. However, given the weather of the area, I am glad the people in charge made the hard call to cancel. Please keep them all in prayer.

One controversial comment about the election: I am a bit confused about the folks who are supporters of Hilary Clinton voting for McCain now. Perhaps this is a simple way of looking at things, but it seems to me that if you are voting for McCain, the only person you are hurting is YOU! Barak will not be affected by your not voting for him - he doesn't know you. Clinton will not be affected by you voting for McCain - she doesn't know you either. I understand loyalty, truly I do. However, if change is going to happen, it has to happen now and I believe any democrat - whether it was Barak or Clinton - is the change that needs to happen.

Until Next Time...

School on Saturday

2008-08-25T19:40:00.002-04:00

Okay, school began on Saturday. Boy....is it going to be interesting. I started off by being late for my 7:30am Church Administration class. This semester, the Dean of the Divinity School will be teaching the class and as another classmate and I entered, the question was: "What do we do with folks who come to class late?" What a wonderful way to begin the semester.

Next, the syllabus is given out. As a result of the class, I now have to find a church to attend in order to gather information about the church that will be written about throughout the semester. Challenge for me: I am not involved in a church at the moment. In the next two weeks I have to find a church and meet the pastor. Can you see me now: "Excuse me, but I want to attend your church through December in order to do a write up about it. Not only that, I need information on your mission, purpose, finances, human resources, etc." I am sure that will go over like a lead balloon.

Next, Introduction to Pastoral Care Counseling. The regular teacher is on family leave and we have a new professor who happens to have his doctorate in Grief counseling. It was a wonderful day along with a sinus headache.

Tuesday night is polity. Oh Joy!!!

Until Next Time...

Clergy Can Relate

2008-08-21T19:10:00.002-04:00

While getting my hair done, my stylist informed me that the pastor of her church, on Sunday, told folks to go home and pray. That was it. No opening song, scripture, benediction, NOTHING. That's it. People came to church to "get their praise on" and thank God for getting them through last week and ask for strength for the upcoming week and all he said was "go home and pray".

Well, for me, as a clergy person, many Sundays that scene has crossed my mind. What would happen if I showed up at church and simply said, "No church today. Go back home." What about the youth? What about the first time guest? In that moment it wouldn't really matter, would it?

To show up and basically say, "We are closed today" -- No God, no prayer, no singing, etc. I am glad to know that God is a 24/7 God. Even when the church is seemingly closed, God is still on duty.

I don't know what happened to the people or what will happen next Sunday. But for a moment, I had to say to myself, "I wish I had the guts to do something like that".

Until Next Time...

When the Heart Waits

2008-08-20T22:18:00.003-04:00

This is the title of a book that someone recommended a while back. I tried to read it, couldn't get into it, loaned it to a friend and only now, looking at it for myself. As I read through it, much has resonated with me and where I currently am in my life. Below is a quote I want to share that really said a lot to me. Perhaps it speaks to you as well. The writer is putting on paper the transition that she went through in her own life. At one point, she realized that she had been trying to hold on to the ideas of the "morning" while trying to live in the "afternoon" of her life. Mainly, a mid-life crises is happening in her and to her and she realizes that things need to change in her life is she is to move forward. Fortunately, she is a spiritual person as well.

"I often need permission to do daring things. And when I can't get it from myself, God often sends someone else to give it to me. As I struggle with whether to embrace this experience or banish it, a friend said to me, "If you think God leads you only beside still waters, think again. God will also lead you beside turbulent waters. If you have the courage to enter, you'll think you're drowning. But actually you're being churned into something new. It's okay,...., dive in." (p.10, "When the Heart Waits" by Sue Monk Kidd)

WOW!!! Enough said....

Until next time...

Something to think about

2008-08-18T17:08:00.002-04:00

CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE (No idea who wrote this. Came to me via email)

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bibles like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. Makes you stop and think "Where are my priorities?" And no dropped calls!

UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE...YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE!

Until Next Time...

School

2008-08-16T17:11:00.003-04:00

Greetings,

Well, today was orientation for school. Nothing really exciting happened. Met with advisor and got paperwork on classes for the fall. One good thing is that we all got a great looking divinity school pen to wear on our lapel. I had already registered but need a hardcopy and sign off from advisor.

So, with three classes, it will be interesting to see how the semester turns out. I have a class that is an intro to pastoral care counseling. I feel led to concentrate in this area, at least for now, as I shared in an earlier post. Hopefully, the class will confirm some things for me.

Until next time...

Additions to Blogspot

2008-08-16T00:12:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

I am sure by now you have noticed some new items on my blog: Inspirational thought, national geographic picture of the day and fitness tip. I even changed the lay out in order to provide more space on the right side of the page. It is my hope that the additions are something that will cause you to return, often, to my blog. If there is anything that you find offensive at any time, let me know. Also, by way of disclaimer, the ads by Google are not picked by me, so I have no control over them. Please keep that in mind in case you choose one that you may not like or believe to not be in character (if you know me) with me.

As ad FYI...school begins with orientation on Saturday and so my weekly school updates will be back to entertain you!

Until next time...

Struggling

2008-08-14T21:04:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

As I continue my journey from stepping down as pastor of a church to a regular person working day in and day out, I have begun to wonder about the issue of struggling and options. It appears that too many folks struggle, unnecessary, in their lives all because they opt to do work that is meaningful as opposed to jobs that build wealth. Of course with jobs that build wealth, it leads to options. Options such as where to live (ability to buy a house as opposed to an apartment), car choices (ability to buy a desired car as opposed to what you can afford), food (too many have to settle for fat building foods due to lack of ability to buy food that is healthy), etc. But what about those of us who choose a different path? What are our options?

I have noticed that my choice of jobs is limited by the fact that I don't have the master's degree that I am currently working on already. Why is it that the jobs that are the most meaningful, aren't usually the ones that pay top dollar: social workers, teachers, ministers, police and fire folks, etc. I would think that jobs that are of service to others (i.e. help them live a better life) would be more highly valued. Unfortunately, as I look around and speak to folks in the field of social services and such, due to budget cuts, folks are being laid off. What happens to their cases? Do they go to those that are ALREADY overloaded with their own cases? Probably. This is so evident when we hear of foster parents who abuse their foster children and it goes unchecked for months and even years. I am reminded of the lady who had a NY address but was leaving in FL with her foster kids, abusing them. I am sure it was due to cut backs and folks being laid off and the inability to do regular check ups on their care.

Now I know that there are folks who are well off as social workers, ministers, teachers, etc. It just appears, in my world, that they are in the minority. Any thoughts?

Oh well, just my two cents for today!

Until next time...

Get Tissue Ready...

2008-08-07T18:37:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

A friend sent this to me. This is dedicated to everyone, including me, who has ever had a pet...

I want to share with you something that Paul Harvey said not long ago. It's entitled,

'Ten Commandments for a Responsible Pet Owner' as dictated by the pet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainments. But, I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me,remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, and yet I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative,ask yourself if something might
be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I have been in the sun too long,
or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too will grow old.

10. On that difficult journey, on that ultimate difficult journey, go with me please.

Never say you can't bear to watch.
Don't make me face this alone.
Everything is easier for me if you are there.
Because I love you so.

Take a moment today to thank God for your pets.Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful thing without God's critters.Please pass this on to other pet owners. We do not have to wait for heaven to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness.

It is here now, and it has 4 feet....

Places I Have Been

2008-08-03T18:33:00.009-04:00

Greetings,

Enjoy these places: Las Vegas, West Coast, Mountains of North Carolina, Grand Canyon and Sherlock Holmes Museum (London England)! More places to come! Until Next Time...

Friends!

2008-08-02T18:53:00.005-04:00

I have an external hard drive in which I can store pictures. This one is of two of my favorite people - my partner and best friend. The shirt he is wearing means "The body of Christ has AIDS". As long as people in the church has AIDS, so does Christ since we are the body of Christ.

Look for more photos to come!

Until Next Time...

Gratitude List - August 1

2008-08-02T00:14:00.002-04:00

Since this is the end of a work week for me...

1) Good work week
2) Relationship with God
3) Relationship with partner
4) Ability to play "delivery driver" at job today
5) Ability to work today
6) Dogs that keep me laughing
7) Gas prices coming down - YEAH!!!
8) Opportunity to begin new things
9) Air to breath
10) Food to eat

Until next time...

Can Someone Explain

2008-07-30T23:21:00.002-04:00

Since I am not sure when people look at my blog, I am sure that by the time folks read this, it will be over...maybe.

Question: Can anyone explain to me why it recently seems as if the military is going crazy? I know that is not a very scientific way of asking a question and it may even sound ignorant on my part, but I am trying to understand.

Every time, lately, I turn on my TV, a female military person has been killed, kidnapped, burned, or is missing and the perpetrator is often the spouse. The women are young and often pregnant. This I really can't understand. Wouldn't it be easier to just leave?

Can someone help me out?

Until next time...

Gratitude List - July 29

2008-07-29T21:03:00.003-04:00

So many things today:

1) Relationship with God
2) New Beginnings
3) 13 years with partner
4) Days off from work - just relaxing
5) Ability to drive car
6) Dogs - they keep me laughing
7) Days of feeling good (no migraines)
8) Job to pay bills
9) Deep insights
10) Life in general

Life overall is good these day. I made, I guess, a profound statement today and one worth repeating here. If someone else is noted as saying before me, my apologies to that person.

"Life isn't worth living if you aren't making an impact on those around you." What I mean by that is this: In our lives, it is not our money, power, property or respect that lives on. It is how we live our lives and how we make a positive impact on others and to our world.

Until Next Time...

Gratitude List

2008-07-25T23:56:00.003-04:00

One of the things that I have learned from folks in Recovery is to do a gratitude list on a daily basis. When life is challenging, it is often hard to find things to be grateful for. So, I thought I would share the 10 things I am grateful for today - Friday. Feel free to do the same at the end of your day. You may be surprised at what you discover.

1) Ability to work a job when employment is high
2) Ability to put gas in the car given the high gas prices
3) Spending time with my partner watching TV tonight
4) The dogs - keeps us laughing
5) Air to breath (when I am congested)
6) Tiredness in my bones means I worked hard today
7) Books that make me laugh
8) Opportunity to speak to good friends
9) Gas stations that are open late
10) Relationship with God

Until next time...

New Things

2008-07-20T17:29:00.002-04:00

As you can HEAR, I have added a new element to my blog. These are just a few of the songs that I enjoy listening to from time to time. The Christian songs are ones that continue to get me through the tough times.Perhaps they will do the same for you. Simon and Garfunkel happens to be from one of my favorite movies - "The Graduate".

I enjoy listening to all types of music so don't be surprised if you visit and hear country and western, folk, disco or new age.

Until Next Time...

Another Story from Childhood

2008-07-16T23:56:00.002-04:00

As I was reading another blog tonight, I was reminded of the day I walked down the aisle at Shiloh Baptist Church to join the church. The idea of "giving my life to Christ" didn't or wasn't in my mind at the time. In joining the church, it meant I was allowed to receive communion on the first Sundays of each month. I finally was able to take the stale white cracker that represented the body of Jesus and the VERY small cup of grape juice to represent the blood of Jesus shed for our forgiveness.

As I thought of communion, I am mindful of the many brothers and sisters that I am aware of unable to receive communion because of there not "fitting in" to society's ways. I have known people refused to be given communion because of their sexuality, their tattoos or even their piercings. You would think that the church would be the place that EVERYONE would be accepted no matter who you were.

If the church is pattered after Jesus, then no one should be turned away from receiving communion. I thought the church was the place that everyone forgives. I thought the church was the place that rich, poor, black, white and all ethnic groups were accepted. I thought the church was the place to help bring a person up in this world, not make this world hell for others.

I thought the church was a place of healing for people. Not a place for the hardened of hearts.

Of course, I could be wrong.

In any case, I will always remember that Sunday walking down the aisle in my pink dress and black shoes and pony tails. At least for me, I have never been the same since.

Until next time...

Comments

2008-07-16T23:39:00.002-04:00

I noticed the subjects in "my blogs" have changed. I would encourage you to read the one under "Something within". It is entitled "Sunday Morning Confession" (in case you get here after the post is gone).

As I was reading it, I related, very well to the writer. The only difference is that I would add playing video games to the ritual.

Be sure to read my comments posted on the blog.

Until next time...

Another Day

2008-07-16T23:23:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

Stayed at home today for a "mental health" day. I am learning to deal with all the lessons God continues to show me day in and day out. Every day, I am being humbled and learning more about how people really live/survive in this world. It is amazing how much of a vacuum I lived in when I was in the church. I often said "in my little world" and the statement was correct. It was my little world because I am learning most of the world doesn't live like me. I go to work to work - not to socialize or figure out how to leave early or get over. Yes, I have fun at work, but it is still WORK!!

I often wonder, why things are the way they are. Not sure what I expected after stepping down from pastoring a church. But I don't think it is what I am getting. There seem to be more challenges than blessings going on. I know that God is there, at least I think I do. I still find myself in situations in which I am "pastoring" others because of my gift (yes, good to know what your gifts are) of listening. Once I realized that, the choice of concentration in grad school was easy - pastoral care counseling (I will keep you posted). Anyway, life continues to move like a roller coaster and hopefully, soon, I will be getting off.

Until Next Time...

Follow Up to Paper

2008-07-03T15:40:00.002-04:00

Interestingly enough, I received a B+ on my paper on gay marriage. I was actually able to write it without coming out or using scripture. Given the discussion that was had in class over the papers, it is apparent that many did use scriptures to back up their stance. To me, we are in graduate school, not Adult Bible Study and I believe it is and was possible to write such a paper without the need to back it up with scriptures. There are times that I feel some folks forget that, during this time in school, the bible is just another text book and as such, it will not always be needed to support various points of views. At one point, during a break, the professor called me over and told me I had done a good job on the paper. He also asked if I thought he would be mad at me for voicing my opinion in the paper. Of course, I told him no. I am sure I was the only one that was in support of gay marriage on some level. He may have an unusual teaching style but he is fair in his grading. If anyone is interested in reading the paper, feel free to ask.

Overall, class for the summer was intense but worth the effort. My last paper was probably the most interesting one. I had to write about the American Colonization Society founded in 1816 by northern Christians. The sole purpose of this society was to send free blacks to West Africa in order to secure the institution of slavery in America. In other words, if all the free blacks were gone, then other blacks would think that slavery was the way of life for all blacks and there would be no threat to slave owners by blacks who lived another way of life. The one saving grace was the fact that many free blacks were against the idea of being "shipped" somewhere they didn't have a clue about. Contrary to popular belief, there were blacks here before slavery and those are the ones that were called free blacks. Feel free to check out other information about the society by simply doing a Google search on American Colonization Society.

Until Next Time...

Assignment

2008-06-22T20:37:00.000-04:00

This past week's assignment included a one page reflection paper on Gay Marriage for my History of the African American Church class. In having a discussion with my partner, there were concerns about my "coming out" in order to write the paper. Fortunately, I was able to write the paper without having to go there. What will be interesting is if he will read them before class ends next Saturday. I am sure I will be the only one that is pro gay marriage in the class. Will keep you posted.

Until Next time...

MySpace

2008-06-13T23:17:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

If interested, check out myspace page. The same blog writing here will be posted there:

www.myspace.com/revwanda

Please be patient with me. Just getting into cyberworld!

Until Next Time...

Today's Story

2008-06-13T19:22:00.002-04:00

As I was riding down the street today, I was thinking of what story to share for today and I had one but forgot it. So...I will share one that just came to me.

Growing up in a small town, getting your license was a HUGE deal at the age of 16. Well, that didn't really happen for me the way I thought it would. As it turned out, I didn't get my license until around the age of twenty something in college. However, that didn't stop me from trying.

When I was sixteen, my brother decided to teach me how to drive his new VW beetle. Unfortunately, the day he decided to teach me to drive, he was a little drunk. This made for a very interesting time. Somehow, we made it to a nearby school parking lot (summer time, no school). To this day, I am not sure how. Anyway, when we get there, he gets out of the car and tells me to do the same. Then we changed seats and there I was, sixteen, no driving experience, about to attempt to drive a 5 speed. I told you he was drunk. As I sat there, he talked me through what to do and how to shift, when to put my foot on the gas, the clutch, etc. We spent about one hour going around in ovals, like a race track. Then, still in the drunken stupor, he decided to let me drive home. We were about five miles from our house which included a few hills. I am not sure how I did it, but I managed to get us home.

Unfortunately, that was the first and only time he allowed me to drive his car. It is amazing what people will do when they are drunk.

Until next time...

Kindergarten

2008-06-09T21:38:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

People have often asked me when did I know I was a lesbian and I must say I knew very EARLY on in my life. In kindergarten, at the age of 5 or 6 (I started school early), we would play house as most kids did. However, in my case I always played the "husband" figure. I didn't know any better. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time. I had a "wife" and a "kid" as well. I probably had a crush on both of them but didn't really understand it at that time. It took a LONG time before I really understood my feelings and the fact that, for me, they were normal.

I wonder how many of us had such feelings growing up but were not allowed to even explore them? I look around and see kids coming out so much earlier in life than I ever did. I didn't come out until the age of 19 or 20 (senior-itis) - more on that in a later blog. However, in looking at kids that do come out so much earlier, those that are lucky, have parents who are supportive. Unfortunately, in my area many of these kids are beaten up or put out the house. I even knew someone who was raped by an older adult (a relative) to make them straight. Lucky for that person, they were removed from the household.

As we stand on the edge of history - possible person of color president - it is my prayer in moving forward that we can really begin to accept people for who they are PERIOD!!!!

Until next time...

Who Am I?

2008-06-08T13:50:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

I realize that many folks who visit probably don't know much about me so I thought I would do some type of introduction of who I am over the next few writings. If there is anything that interests you or you have questions about, just send a note. Happy reading!

I was born in a small town in North Carolina, between the beach and the mountains, with two parents in the household. This was a very unusual thing for me because most of my friends on the block were either living in single parent homes, mainly mothers, or with their grandmother or aunt. It was a neighborhood in which every adult looked out for EVERY child. Not like today. When I was growing up, the lady next door had as much right to punish me (within reason) as my mom and dad did. They had a right to tell on us if we were doing something inappropriate. One day, I was out playing with fire and a straw (you figure out the visual) and was called home. I was down the street playing at my aunt's house when I was called home because the transformer lights were coming on. You remember having to be home before the street lights came on. Don't pretend, those over 35, that you don't recall such a thing. Anyway, as I was running home, the plastic attached itself to my arm and by the time I got home, I had a nice burn spot on my arm. Somehow, I was able to get ice from the freezer to put on it, but I learned my lesson that day about playing with fire.

Oh well. Until next time...

My Bad

2008-05-18T21:55:00.003-04:00

Greetings,

Wow!!! I really need to get on the ball. I haven't posted since April 30th. That is not good. Given the fact that all I do is go to work and school, it would seem that I would have time to do my blog.

Oh, well. Just an update since I last posted. Not much has occurred in my life. School ended the first of May and I managed to get "A's" in both of my classes. Truly God is good!!! Mother day came and went without much happening. With my mother having died a while back, that particular day doesn't hold much significance for me anymore. All I had was my mother. No pseudo mother to assist in raising me so when she died, there was no other mother figure.

Summer school begins on Wednesday and for two intense weeks and then two weeks off and two weeks on for another class. This should prove very interesting.

As soon as I think of something that is good to write about, I will be more consistent.

Until next time...

What Happens Next

2008-04-30T20:14:00.003-04:00

What happens to pastors with no church to pastor? Are they still a pastor or just a regular joe on the street? That has been my question since stepping down as pastor of the church I founded ten years ago. I know I wrote about this in an earlier blog but it continues to come back up in my every day life lately. I am sure it is God's way of letting me know that no matter what, I am who I am but WHO AM I? Interesting question, I know, after 14 years of pastoral ministry. But I do not mean it in the sense of not knowing that I am a child of God and called for God's purpose. THAT I am VERY clear on! The "Who Am I" question is based on, who am I now that I am no longer preaching weekly, giving pastoral care regularly, or interacting with believers on a daily basis. That is the question that I am asking myself.

If you have been there, suggestions?

Until Next Time...

Oprah's Church - PLEASE!!!

2008-04-29T22:02:00.002-04:00

Recently, I was sent a link to what some are calling "Oprah's Church" which is her online discussion of the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle.

Let me just say that Oprah is not my pastor nor am I an Oprah follower. Just because folks are willing to read things that may challenge them does not mean that it is of the devil. I believe that you can find value in all things and all people. Some say that is a fault of mine. I think that can also be an asset. I also believe that as long as you know WHO you are in God and WHOSE you are in God, then you can read most things, use what you can and leave the rest alone.

I don't agree with every person I meet or every pastor I listen to BUT I can usually find something redeeming within that person and for me, that is God's presence in them.

Having written all of that, I think it is important that you have access to the youtube video and use your best judgement. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA

Come back later for more thoughts on the book from me.

Oh by the way, I did have chapel on Sunday and it was good, as usual.

Until next time...

Chapter 2 - A New Earth

2008-04-26T22:54:00.003-04:00

It is very challenging not to write everyday in connection to this book. However, since I am only on chapter 4 in the book, I don't want to get ahead of myself and run out of things to write.

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Chapter 2 - Ego: The Current State of Humanity

What is the ego about? To me, the ego can mean several things. In one place it means "Edging God Out" and in another it speaks to the "I" in a person. The ego is that part of you that is always pushing you to satisfy yourself - the "I" or "me" mentality.

When we are asked "Who are you?", we often say "I am...", but is that REALLY who you are? Who are we, really, without the titles/roles that we or society puts on us? This is the basic idea behind this particular chapter. I must say that I found this one to be the beginning of really looking at "who am I" without the high functioning role of "pastor". Meaning that I am still pastor to some but I am not in that role, actively, in my life at the moment.

Several things stood out for me in this chapter, but I will only allude to a few here and possibly in a part two of this blog. This stood out for me because on the day I read this, I had left my ring at home, accidentally. "What you identify with is all to do with content; whereas, the unconscious compulsion to identify is structural. It is one of the most basic ways in which the egoic mind operates"(p. 36) Okay, so what is he talking about? What I got was that we have a tendency to identify with things and put more value on things than on the intangible things. A ring signifies relationships, commitment, and sometimes - love. Those are very intangible things that is far more valuable than the ring itself. So...why do we get so bent out of shape when we loose or misplace such items? Are things that important to us?

Of course, the author has an answer for us. "Ego-identification with things creates attachment to things, obsession with things, which in turn creates our consumer society and economic structures where the only measure of progress is always more" (p. 37). There it is. If you loose something that you are attached to, nine times out of ten, you will replace it and therefore contribute to the economy by purchasing that item, probably at a higher price that originally purchased. So the question for you is this: If your house was on fire, what would you try and take with you and why that item? In the end, we all know that whatever it is, is it really worth risking your life?

Until Next Time...

Chapter 1 - A New Earth

2008-04-23T20:59:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

I thought what I would do is to choose a few thoughts/ideas that really spoke to me and write about them here. My goal is to get to who I am and writing is part of my processing of things. I figure that I am not the only one that goes through times such as this and therefore, I do not have a challenge in writing about them in this space.

Again, the book is entitled: A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and Oprah is doing an online webclass on it weekly.

Chapter 1 - The Flowering of Human Consciousness
Okay, these are the things that stuck out in my mind. Feel free to share your thoughts as well. I am open to dialogue. This first chapter, serves as an introduction to the book. Keep in mind that all statements will be out of context. If they need explanation, I will provide.

First let me say that I am a Christian. That is my chosen belief system. Many may be challenged with reading things outside of the bible. But for me, it is important to gain insight and sometimes that comes from outside the bible to enhance your understanding of the bible. I am not sure of what the author's belief system is, but he does refer to Jesus, God (Presence) and scripture. So for me, if you are secure in your faith/belief system, then you can read anything you want and it will not change your faith, only enhance it.

One of the first things that struck me in this chapter, was his reference to "sin". He says, "...to sin means to miss the point of human existence. It means to live unskillfully, blindly, and thus to suffer and cause suffering" (p. 9). My thoughts? Not to far from the mark as to my definition of sin which is separation from God. When one sins, it often causes you to suffer and cause suffering in the lives of others as well as your own. Nothing new there.

However, the next thing that struck me was: "You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge. But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness" (p. 13). I believe that who you are on the inside will come out on the outside. Therefore, you have to "be the change you want to see in the world" - Ghandi. You can't be something that you are not and I believe that is what he is speaking about here in this statement.

Lastly, he explains the title for the book. ""A new heaven" is the emergence of a transformed state of human consciousness, and "a new earth" is its reflection in the physical realm" (p. 23). It makes sense that when you change the inside then the outside will follow. As we emerge into who God is calling us to be, we create a type of heaven, I believe, that will effect the earth around us.

Chapter one was the easiest to read. Trust me, as the chapters continue, the struggle comes to the forefront.

Until next time...

Coming Soon

2008-04-22T23:15:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

To those that have ventured onto my blog at times...thank you. I think I have something that I want to share with those that stop by. I have been reading a new book entitled - A New Earth - one of Oprah's book club books. I am currently going through a period of discerning who I am. I have, for the past 14 years, been a pastor and now that role has ended. Ministry has not and I see that as two different things.

However, I am without a church and seeking a church home all the while trying to figure out who I am. I am getting comfortable with the unknown. At least, so far.

If possible, pick up the book and check out the webclass that Oprah is doing or download the audio at iTunes.

In either case, as I read, I will post my thoughts and feelings on my blog. I figure there are others who have gone through this phase in their life as well.

Until next time...

Chapel On Saturday

2008-04-08T23:14:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

Apparently, I missed Chapel last Saturday but was able to make it this week. WOW!!! I continue to see a string throughout the sermons each and every week. This past Saturday the sermon was "God Teach ME to Deal with ME". How often do we make the time to ask God to take an inventory of ourselves and really look at ourselves in the mirror?

The preacher challenged us to take an evaluation of one's self from time to time. That we try and hide OUR issues from God when the reality is that God knows all and sees all. At some point and time we have to say to ourselves "The Buck Stops Here!". There has to come a time to not make excuses anymore. To understand that no matter where we are in our lives, WE are the only ones that we can look at for having gotten us there. The main scripture was Psalm 51:1-13 with the key verse as vs. 10.

So, how do I feel about all of this? I feel it is important to make the time to do a self inventory. I believe that is one of the 12 steps for those that are in recovery. Once we are able to do the inventory and admit, before God, then we can go on our way. However, there lies the problem. The admitting that we struggle with temptation, Internet porn, gambling, stealing, lying, etc. to name a few demons that many deal with on a daily basis. The reality is that God knows what our "demons" are and want us to come to God and ask for help in breaking free.

There comes a time when we, as the Palmist says in 51, must ask God to "wash me", to "purge me" and to "create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me". When we can go before God and do that, God will steadfast love and mercy, will forgive us and give us what we need to deal with our issue.

I challenge us all this week to ask "God Teach Me to Deal With Me!"

Until next time...

Full Circle

2008-03-26T23:29:00.002-04:00

Isn't it interesting when things that you thought of as a child comes back to you as an adult? I am in my second semester of grad school preparing for summer school. I have really struggled since stepping down as pastor of a church and wondering what does God has in store for me. What is my purpose? (Odd to think of that at this point. One would think that I, of all people, would know what that is for my life.) I have had time to reflect over the last 14 years of being a pastor - still reflecting and probably will for a while. At some point, the thought Pastoral Care Counseling came into my spirit/soul. As I sat with this and begin to speak to classmates, it began to really sink in. There were several aspects of pastoring that I really enjoy and one of those is listening to people. It wasn't unusual to sit and listen to people share, on average, 2.5 hours (most would only do 1 hour). Even though it was draining (I am an extreme introvert), it was very satisfying for me and I enjoyed listening to others and offering whatever insights I could and to see their lives changed was transforming for me and I hope for them as well.

So...here is the full circle. As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist and offer a "free day" to folks. In particular African American people. Even as a child, I felt that we needed a place to talk with others who could give insight and, perhaps, guidance. As I grew older, that "dream" was put on the back burner. In the community that I live in, there are very few African American psychologist, therapist, etc. that are in private practice. Most are connected with social services, hospitals, schools, etc. (This information is from about 4 years ago when I was looking for an African American therapist for a congregant. I hope the numbers are getting higher).

Here I am being given the opportunity to fulfill a dream that, I believe, God gave me as a child. So many times I have preached that if God gave you a dream, don't give up on it because if is of God, at some point it will manifest itself. It may take a short time or a long time, BUT in the end, God gets the glory. The greatest example of this is the story of Joseph found in the Old Testament in the bible - Genesis 37-45.

I am so thankful that "God moments" continue to happen in my life even in the midst of going through.

Until next time...

New Insight

2008-03-25T21:57:00.002-04:00

I continue to be amazed where God shows up at times. I guess I shouldn't be, but I am often amazed nevertheless. I was sharing with my school advisor a situation at work and my response to it and out of the blue she says ..."perhaps that is why God has you there". As I sat there, I reflected back to what has happened since I began working in Feb.: 1) Someone shared they had given their life to Christ because they were tired of living the life they were living. About a week later they were sick to the point of hospital stay. I went and visited him and prayed with him while there and left my DVD player with him. When he returned to work he mentioned how much he appreciated the prayer and my visit. Now he is in church and his sister is getting him a bible soon; 2) Someone asked, recently, how to give your life to Christ and then talked about going to bible study this week to get his spiritual relationship with God back on track and finally 3) Another person talked about her passion and I asked why she was doing what she was doing at work as opposed to her passion and she couldn't answer me. I encouraged her to really think about what was stopping her (hoping it isn't her fear of success as a Black American) because even if she worked her passion if she didn't know what was stopping her, it wouldn't last. When I shared this, my advisor said that I, at least, planted a seed in their person's mind. It will be interesting to see what the answer will be to the question.

I know there have been other things that have happened, but these have been the most memorable.

Until Next Time...

Resurrection Weekend

2008-03-21T22:13:00.003-04:00

This is the weekend that many will be and are celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Today - Friday - is called Good Friday and the day in Holy Week that many pay attention to Jesus being crucified on the cross. I must admit that it feels very odd to be at home tonight as opposed to being in worship somewhere tonight. Of course, I could have gone somewhere tonight, but I chose not to. I guess it is all part of the grief process.

Sunday morning will be REAL interesting. It will be the first time in 10 years that I will not be leading a Sunrise Service outside. I hope no one shows up looking for a service. Of course, there might be a service that I am not aware of.

Change, even on God's time, isn't always easy. I know that I am learning many things about myself and others during this time and I know that it is a "in the meantime..." kind of time. Just knowing that God continues to be present in and around me makes this chapter in my life livable.

BTW...no chapel this week. So, no commentary on Saturday.

Until next time...

More Moments of Clarity

2008-03-20T19:14:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a moment in which God says - "Gotcha!!"? I had one of those and perhaps my sharing will help another on their journey.

It is easy and tempting to give in to the urge to compare yourself to others around you. To look at what they have and be envious and/or jealous. For me, that is a real temptation. There are also times that we feel like Elijha (1 Kings 19) when we have given all we have for God and you just don't have anything left to give. Still there are other times that we even wonder if God is truly listening and even care about us? (I am doing an exegesis on Psalm 43...read it when you can)

Well, even us children of God have moments in which we wonder if God is listening and God, in God's infamous wisdom, decides to do a "Gotcha!" moment. For me it happened twice in the last 24 hours. First moment - I signed up for a fast from wrong thinking and the one for today was about not looking at what others have but rather at what God has given you that is PRICELESS!! I realized that what I have been given from God can not be taken away by theft or fire. Second moment - I was given two gift cards from my favorite fast food place (will update favorites later) and recently, Monday of this week, ran out of one. And wouldn't you know, I went to my mailbox TODAY and in the mailbox was a wonderful note from someone with a gift card in the SAME AMOUNT that I had just used of.

CAN'T NOBODY TELL ME THAT GOD ISN'T AN ON TIME GOD!!!! GOTCHA!!!!

Until next time...

Aha Moments

2008-03-18T20:08:00.000-04:00

I am sure that it is not surprising to folks when you find yourself in a place where you say "Aha!" That moment has occurred quite frequently lately. I find myself in a place in which I am sure that many folks have said to themselves "now I understand what they were talking about". I am amazed how things really do come around when you least expect it. If you are someone that has ever wondered that you reap what you sow, let me say very clearly to you...YES!!! That is my thought for today. Oh, and by the way, sometimes it really does come back pressed down, shaken together and running over (Luke 6:38)

Until next time...